The silence
by ravena.thantum
Summary: It s been more than one year since the death of Matthew Crawley, but Isobel is still grieving, slowly giving up. Only Ricahrd Clarkson could help her and bring her to life again...
1. Chapter 1

They stopped for a while and looked silently into the shadowy distance. The leaves of the tree above them were swishing gently thus creating the garde to the rippling of small brooklet aloof.

\- The silence is healing.- he said suddendly still following that uncertain point far away. She remained silent again aware of his words, but unsure if they are true. Her arms embraced her shoulders and she responded quietly: - The silence is destroying me.- another tear-drop that shouldn´t come, but came, escaped from her hazel-brown eyes and was falling down her pale cheeks. Richard looked at her, while she was still hypnotised by that unexsisting piece of past. She was completly contrite like the past 14 months. Dressed in the black, pale and lifeless. Seeing her like this just few centimeters before him and being unable to replace her arms in embracement, comfort her, was breaking his heart into small pieces. She was everything for him and he knew, that if something wouldn´t change, he will loose her forever. The pain filled his heart as well and was multiplied every other day because she was slowly giving up. He sighed helplessly, but she seemed not to pay any attention to it. And indeed, she knew he was beside her, looking at her sadly and that kept her alive. Only with him in the nearness she felt understood. He wasn´t trying to seal off that ache inside her but endured it with her silently. That silence again. She hated it. When she was in her house, it reminded her painfully only of the loneliness she felt and his death. In the moment she entered a room with vivid discussion everybody looked at her and silence came again. Silence. She could bear it only with him, in his house. He understood her without explanations, without words or long sentences. But still, that silenece tortured her every single day, every single night and took her the will to live. She closed her eyes for a moment, because she was unable to look at the world with eyes full of tears anymore. They were slowly running down her face and drifted by the wind that moved the leaves above.

\- I have been asking myself several times what the silence means for me.- he initiated seconds later whispering so only she could hear him. – Have you ever tried it as well Isobel?- he asked but she only shook her head. She was listening and therefore he continued.

\- Firstly I thought that the silence is conected with the absolute vacuum. With the place where we cannot hear any sound, noise or tone of the surrounding, with the condition when everything abates and we can only hear our thoughts. This would be logical explanation, not only from the point of view of a physician. But now, I know that this isn´t the right definition of silence. No. The silence isn´t only complete absence of sounds, but the condition of our mind and soul as well. It represent the feeling, when you get out of you everything that haunts you, destroys you, afflicts you and tyranises you. The condition when you hear only your heart. The condition when you carefully listen waiting for another heartbeat. The time stops then for a moment and you are freed from the world outside, from the chains of torture. Only then the silence heals.- he silenced himself once more and set his eyes on her. Her eyes were stil closed, her cheeks were covered with the wet paths of tears. She was trying to detain them, but he knew that was impossible. After short pause, he continued again.

\- I questioned myself many times how can be such silence found and now I know that you cannot aloof yourself from the world completely and you can´t be reticent as well. No. It is hard, I experienced it myself. And I only know that for reaching that healing silnece, you must get that effervescence and voices of your mind and unconscious out of your head. Expel them, chase them away and liberate yourself. It´s not needful to be quiet. It´s not needful to remain silent. No. On the contrary. Sometimes it is necessary to shout till your lungs give up, to stop restraining that anger at the whole world. It is important to stop blaming everybody and yourself and avoiding the tears from running down the cheeks. Trying to do it is important. Of course,- he sighed with pain in his voice, - such process is very painfull. All the ache will reach the surface in its mightiness and will tear your heart again, but it must be done. It will help. It can help. It must.- the last words were said more quiet than the others. She turned around slowly, facing him again and opened her eyes. The light reflecting in her tears made her look even more gloomily.

\- The silenece is destroying me.- she repeated again desponded.

\- I don´t want anything to destroy you, Isobel!-

\- Richard.- she said sadly, that she was hurting him as well, - I am worried, that there is nothing that would help me.- after that she turned away from him and continued in walking , leaving him behind, standing in silence. He was frightened after what he heard and saw. Her eyes, before full of fire and sparkling, were now empty, hopeless. They were screaming her sorrow. He remained like that for a while and then hurried to reach her as soon as possible. They were walking silently until they stood before her front door facing each other.

\- Thank you Richard.- she said trying to smile a little. Nothing more was needed, that was enough. He understood what she wanted to say and she knew he would understand. He nodded and asked her:

\- Please, promise me we will see each other tomorrow again.- he was afraid that she would do something stupid after all she had said that day. She nodded as well and touched his hand for a moment. – Good night.- she quit then. Richard wished her the same with little relief and hope, that the next day will be better.

The phone in his hall was chiming without mercy . That sound spread itself through the entire house reaching his bedroom, his bed, his ears . The ringing pulled him out of sleep that wasn´t peaceful and sufficient for long time. He uncovered himself and turned around to light up the lamp on his bedside table. He left the bed grabbing the morning gown and hurried up. He didn´t like such night calls but mostly, in fact always, they were urgent just like the cases, to which he was called by this way. He picked up the phone and without telling something, he petrified.

\- I cannot bear it anymore! I cannot handle it!- she said tearfully and desperately. – The silence is ruining me, Richard! I cannot bear it!- she sobbed. He was terified and tried to interrupt her.

\- Isobel, please,- only the worst ideas were crossing his mind, but she hanged up. – Isobel! Isobel!- he exclaimed anxiously . – Isobel, please!- he tried again but he heard no answer. He hanged up fastly and without returning back to his bedroom and dressing himself into more suitable clothes or turning off the lamp, he slipped into his coat. He grabbed his medical bag still thinking about the worst possibilities and left the house on his bicycle. He prayed to God the entire track to her house so nothing of the things he was worried about, happened in reality. Terrified he hurried like he was racing of life. Senseless, not paying his attention to anything around him, worried, panicked...and then after several minutes lasting the entire eternity, he reached her house. No lights were lit, curtains covered the windows and the front door was locked. He tried to open it by force, but nothing helped. He tried to knock, tossing, ring, but no answer was coming from the other side. He sweared, but forced himself to think clearly. He went around the house, broke open the lock of wooden gate and reached the back door. Locked again. – Think!- he shouted at himself and looked around. –Where would they keep reserve key?- he kneeled and started to look into the pots with herbs and flowers, lifting them one after another. He finally found the key and unlocked the door rushing through the kitchen into the corridor where he found the reciever hanging from the table. She wasn´t there as well as she wasn´t in the sitting room that he scaned next. He returned back to the corridor and hurried upstairs. Every second was precious. Every second meant the difference between life and death. Another small hall was behind him. Another room upstairs was empty and then he finally reached the right one. Her room was almost dark. The bed was empty, but he heard silent sobbing from the window. He turned his steps that way and saw her finally. He eased up. He was relieved. She was alive. Bending over broken teacup, covered in satin gown with hair bound into loose braid. Little candle with small flame was standing on the floor before her. She was sobbing trying to catch her breath. Her face was wet from tears and her right palm was hurt by the broken porcelain. He left his bag fall down and kneeled beside her collecting all the little pieces that he placed on the table in front of him from which the teacup felt. Then he looked at her again and embraced her. He took her into his arms. At first she wasn´t aware of presence of another person than herself. Only then, when he hugged her, when his arms embraced her body and his palms rested on her back. She burried her face into his neck ,placed her fists on his chest and started to cry more and louder. Richard held her strongly not trying to silence or stop her. He knew that she needed to cry, to scream, to get it all out of her. He kept her just safe undergoing a small hell, that he couldn´t take all the pain from her shoulders and carry it instead of her. Her cry intesified. He was embracing her stronger. Silently. Painfully. Hopefully. She was alive and that was all that mattered. After long time she straightened her fists, the anger she felt toward the world and herself that she survived and not her son, was slowly leaving her. She moved her hands slightly placing them on his shoulders and embraced him finally around the neck. He snuggled her even closer feeling her fast heartbeat, feeling the warmth escaping from her breast which excited him and calmed at the same time. His heartbeat was calm ,strong just like Richard which helped her to calm down as well. They remained like this for another moments, the cries stopped at last. Her heartbeat slowed down. She was silent, laying in his arms, inahling his aftershave fragrance. And then she finally felt it. The silence. That silence, he was speaking about. She was exhausted by the sadness, long crying, furiosity as well as her mind that was empty at last. Without thoughts. Without voices and sounds. Without fear and hate toward herself. She heard only the sound of her heartbeat, the sound of his heartbeat, even though she wasn´t in the condition to realize he was really there. She was listening carefully, waiting for another beat trying to picture the flow of blood through its chambers. She realized that this meant that the life is still in her. The life she cannot live with the pain, which she hated almost like the life that remained her after the death of her son. Hear heart was beating strongly. So wondefully and calmly that she wasn´t able to stop listening it. To hate it. She smiled and Richard felt the movement of her lips on his skin. Isobel felt the piece first time after long months and closed her eyes without fear. She felt asleep minutes later. Her body weakened. Richard sighed with relief and brought her to her bed laying her gently on the pillows. He covered her and briskly cleaned the wound. He covered it with bandage and kissed her gently on the forehead. She looked so calm and peaceful. Richard left soon after, locked her house , placed the key under the pot again and went home. Calmly. Slowly. Peacefully.


	2. The disease season

Maybe little bit longer, but hopefully not that bad. We are in hospital again and Isobel feels much better. Enjoy it and leave comments if possible :D Thanks for reading...

The last few days and weeks, were full of nightmares and peaceless dreams that hadn´t allowed her to sleep very well. She was exhausted and tired. Only the events of last few hours brought her the ability to sleep calmly again. To sleep long hours without interruption. Just two words, that Richard said her the day before. Two simple words that made her wonder what if. The silence heals. She wasn´t sure they are true. The silence was all around her slowly agonizing her. The silence took her everything she loved as an active woman she used to be. But Richard´s words and tone of his voice sounded like he experienced something similar and got over it. He wouldn´t lie to her just to silence her for a moment. That´s why she tried it. After dinner alone when her cook left the house, she was lonely again. Outside the windows was everything becoming dark so fast as well as her house. She went upstairs with a cup of cammomile tea, to her bedroom and layed down on bed, covering herself with warm sheets. The sleep wasn´t coming again even though she was tired and thus she began to think about Richard´s words. It started so suddendly. She was crying again and wasn´t able to stop. Tears subsided down her cheeks, sobs escaping her lips. All the losts she experienced in her life were replaying in front of her eyes. She screamed loudly as all the pictures seemed so real and vivid. She saw the dead face of her son again. Her breathing was heavy and the heartbeat too fast. Her heart was breaking again and again, just like her, just like her mind. She couldn´t bear it anymore and jumped out of the bed. The death was present all around her. She saw it in the heavy curtains covering the windows, in her pillows that were breathing loudly and in the mirror in front of her. She was terrified and with scream full of pain left the room running down the stairs. She stopped in the hall fixing her eyes on the phone. She was so weak and wretched. She needed to know she was not alone and therefore , not knowing how exactly, she heĺd the phone and talked, cried and sobbed.

In this moment she was laying calmly in her bed, half asleep, half awake, not wanting to think so soon after the silence reached her mind. She finally woke up and realized completely that something had changed. Her heart wasn´t aching that much and she felt somehow better. She placed her palm on the forehead in order to move away few strands of hair. She felt not only her bare skin but something else as well. Her palm was coverd in bandage and then she remembered something else. Richard. He must have been there- she realized. She didn´t know when did he come or when did he left, but she knew he was there. As always when she needed. She left the bed slowly after few another minutes. The sun was shining and first time in long time she was little bit delighted by that fact.

They were happy to see her after that long time. The last time she visited was two months before and since then they barely heard about her. Downton Abbey hadn´t changed as she realised and everybody remarked that she looked more peaceful and vivid than before. Her mood improved even more as she saw George. He looked exactly like her Matthew in that same age. She took him into her arms picking him up of the crib in which Mary used to sleep as a baby. His eyes were big and blue, curious and peaceful and another tears subsided from her eyes. Tears of happiness and comfort. Mary left them alone but soon after one little girl appeared at the door smilling warmly and joyfully. – Auntie Isobel!- she exclaimed with puckish look in her eyes. – Sybie!- Isobel smiled as well and kneeled down to her so the small lady could embrace her. – I haven´t seen you for very long time!- she reproached her subsequently. – I am sorry Sybie, but I couldn´t have come sooner.- she apologized sitting down on small couch with George in arms so Sybie could join her.

\- Richie didn´t let you go?- she asked and grimaced on George who began to laugh.

\- Richie?- repeated Isobel not knowing exactly what or who the little girl meant.

\- Yes! Richie. He is the doctor.- Sybie tried to explain. – He is taking care about the people that aren´t feeling well and daddy said you weren´t well.- Isobel must have smiled again. Sybie was so clever and sensitive. – I am feeling well again, my darling.- she reasurred her and shortly after, Sybie started to talk about everything new. About George and their teddy-plays, she showed Isobel her new doll with green eyes and George was babbling satisfied smiling widely. Isobel felt better and better.

Richard was sitting in his little home Office, holding glass of fine whiskey in one hand and medical journal in the other. Tired as every man would be after such long day in work, full of ill patients waiting for his help, but still awake no mater that the midnight has passed away. The autumn brought the well known diseases with itself as soon as the first leaves of the tree had changed the colours. Cases of flu, cold, bronchitis, laryngytis and even pneumonie hit the village again. Until the noon, he had checked 7 patients and wished truly Isobel was there to help him, mostly with the little ones. She was more patient ank kind, after all, smiling and joyfull and the kids liked her. He really wished she was there and was asking himself how is she in that particular moment. He felt guilty as well that he hadn´t checked her during the day as he promised, but there was no time for such pleasure and she wasn´t answering his calls. However, he wasn´t that much afraid like the night before. Her cook told him she was at the abbey and that was good sign. He sighed with exhaustion and leaned against his chair. - Isobel.- he whispered silently and looking into the fire emptied the glass of scotch. He remained like that for several moments. The fiery flame reminded him of her eyes, that were sparkling just like that when she was angry or enthusiastic. She was always passionate and flaming women, independent, full of strenght and tenderness, warm and embracing, joyfull and calming and he loved her for that. But in the flash of events of last year she lost so much and changed. Her fragikity and vulnerability manifested clearly just like the greatness of her love and he loved her even more. He was afraid for her even more than he used to be when she left for France in the middle of the war.

The village square was busy and spry again. It was full of farm stalls with different products, harvest and home-made clothes. Villagers and some people from next village passing by them and comparing prices all around. Laughs and warm chats were heard, and some voices trie to sign old songs but almost no one joined them. Isobel entered the place quite surprised. She was walking some time now and hearing all the sounds from distance, but didn´t know what was happening. She forgot that such events were regular and didn´t realized properly that the autumn is always interconnected with farm markts just like that one. Life hadn´t stopped, as she thought. No. Just her mind tried to persuade her about that. She didn´t stop by the stalls, but didn´t hurry as well. Some people, in fact all that marked her, greeted her warmly, smiling slightly, not knowing if it was alright. Isobel passed by the bakery and continued her way through another little street leading directly to the hospital. She wanted to see Richard and thank him for all the help, invaluable support and patience. After long time, she entered the hospital again and stopped imediately in the doors as she saw so many people waiting for medical examination. Everbody was coughing, sneezing, some of the people were pale, others were red in face, but all were obviously ill. The sickness season. She managed to pass through the people that simply sidestepped little bit surprised that she was actually there and reached Richard´s office. After little knock she opened the door, but the room was empty as well as the consulting room before which many patients had waited for long minutes. Absolute chaos. – Rosie? Ester? Where is doctor Clarkson?- she asked the two younh nurses that were poncing impetuously around the big hall. – He left before half an hour.- answered Rosie. – Another emergency call, obviously urgent one because they had sent car for him.-

\- He left us almost without instructions what to do.- Ester spoke up trying to explain that chaos. Isobel sighed. – Prepare the consulting room for me, Ester.- she ordered at once. – And you, Rosie, - she turned around facing the second nurse, - Make me a list of all people present, and start to measure the temperature. Kids and adults at first. You can send me first patient in ten minutes , alright?- Rosie nodded . – Alright Mrs. Crawley.- she said and hurried away to do what she was ordered. Isobel returned to the doctor´s office and changed quickly into her old nurse apron. In ten minutes time was everything prepared and she started to examine all the patients. Little girl, Susan, as she remembered right was the first one to be examined. Then another 2 little kids with their mother entered the room and some older ones afterwards. Finally doing what she was good in. Finally thinking about others and not herself. It was good feeling- she was useful again. The waiting hall had slowly started to empty itself.

Richard returned 2 hours later and was startled directly by the amount of people in the hospital. They even outnumbered the amount of people from the previous day. – Nurse Jenkins!- he called the young girl that was measuring temperature of another woman. – How many patients are there?- he asked her directly. Rosie Jenkins looked into paper full of names that she was holding and answered. – There are only 15 left.-

\- Good. Prepare the consulting room!- he wanted to get changed into his medical gown but was stopped by Rosie´s question. – Which one?-

\- Which one?- he repeated sarcastically. – The only one we have, of course!-

\- Yes, doctor. But in that one is Nurse Crawley examining Mr. Stewart.- she tried to explain.

\- Isobel is here?- he forgot to call her properly looking even more surprised..

\- Yes.- Rosie nodded again. – Fortunatelly she came 2 hours ago, just half an hour after you left.-

\- Very well, then.- he focused again on the poblem that he had actually no place to work. – Prepare the pre-surgery room. I will start in 5 minutes.- Richard went to his office with brisk steps hanging his coat next to the Isobel´s one and changed into medical gown.

\- May I help you with something else?- asked Rosie when he entered the pre-surgery room that she prepared for him.

\- Yes, nurse Jenkins. There are some equipments in my office that need to be washed and sterilized. Send me first patient and tell nurse Crawley, that I am here at last.-

Everything went faster after his arrival and the waiting hall was after one hour almost empty. The number of patients with bronchitis he examined increased to number 4 and he was just using his stethoscope to check the lings of last patient when someone knocked on the door and entered shortly afterwards. – May I interupt you, doctor?- Isobel asked.

\- Of course. – he answered. – This is the last case but I am afraid another pneumonia and,- Isobel interupted his speech again.- I will prepare another bed.- she said simply and closed the door after he thanked her. Isobel left the temporary consulting room and together with Ester prepared another bed. Soon afterwards came Richard with Mr. Stevens that was hospitalised with early stage of pneumonia and needed to be treated professionaly. Richard was surprised by the complete number of sick people present there. – How many cases of influeza are here?- Richard asked Isobel immediately after he gave Mr. Stevens his medicine.

\- Seven. And I´ve hospitalized 2 patients suspected of pneumonia.- she answered with hint of worry on her face. – You should examine them by yourself still. I am not sure if I diagnised them correctly.-

\- I will check it.- he agreed and informed her, – I´ve recognized 5 cases of influenza and 1 pneumonia case.- he continued examining the 2 suspected cases. – There were 6 people with flu yesterday, only 2 severe cases altogether.-

\- Another sickness epidemy?- she asked glowing little bit more. Richard shrugged his shoulders turning to face her again. – I wouldn´t say that so far. The sickness rate increased in these 2 days but hopefully, it won´t develop into such catastrophy.- he read her notices to the two cases once more.

\- You diagnosed Mr. McNeil right and I am afraid that Mr. Nickleby has pneumonia as well.- he said shortly after. – We will have to isolate them as well as Mr. Stevens.-

\- I ´ll manage.- Isobel said promptly and left the room again.

\- Thank you very much for your invaluable help Isobel.- he said finally as they entered his office two hours later. – I assume that the waiting hall would be still half- full. I don´t know what I would do without you.- he smiled relieved.

\- You are welcome.- she answered with mild smile as well, - But I am the one to thank you. For everything and I am not speaking only about the last days but months at least.- she sat on the chair near the window and took the teacup he was handing her.

– Do you feel better?- he asked her and ensconced himself in his chair.

\- I do.- she admitted. – But without you,- she continued shrugging her shoulders and remaind silent for a while. – You know, all the others tried to help me to forget, but nobody understood that this is impossible. Nobody understood me, they felt pity and,- she bit her lip trying to hold another tears.

\- I know, Isobel.- he said instead of her calmly. She smiled at him gratefully, that she didn´t have to explain herself. – I am glad, you hadn´t given it up with me.-

\- I never would.- he reassured her and wanted to take her hand in his but was interrupted by another knock.

\- Come in!- he answered with little sigh concentrating on the door again.

\- I am sorry to interrupt you doctor, - said nurse Franklin after coming in, - But we have another case.-

\- I´ll be there in a minute.- he answered and stood up. – Another long night.- he remarked and smiled at Isobel when nurse Franklin left.

\- We survived longer ones.- she stood up as well remembering the great war.

\- Do you want to stay and help?- he asked with surprise to which she nodded and smiled again.

\- You had more difficult day. I will look after the case if you want and you can rest meanwhile.-

\- What would I do without you.- he smiled thankfully because he was really tired

\- I am asking the same question myself, Richard.- she answered and left the room leaving him alone.

The night wasn´t calm at all. Body temperature of Mr. Stevens and Mr. Dunker, who was hospitalized the day before, reached dangerous limit of 40⁰C. The nurses had to take care of another patients as well, so the task to lower the temperature was up to doctor Clarkson and nurse Crawley.

\- Is there any ginger tea left?- asked Richard as Mr. Stevens was still coughing.

\- I think so.- answered Isobel from the next bed and continued in the process of temperature lowering with cold water poultice. – Shall I bring any?-

\- No. I will bring it. Is there anything I can bring for you or Mr. Dunker?- he inquired.

\- Only something that would lower the temperature more effectively.- she answered with concen in her voice. Richard returned soon after with pot of hot tea and applied cold poultice on Mr. Stevens´ forehead as well. The temperature of both patients remained perpetually the same. They heard groans and coughing form time to time but nothing changed.

\- I´ve been thinking,- started Isobel suddendly enagaging Richard´s attention, - We could try wet wraps or ice bath. That should be effective.-

\- I´ve been thinking about it as well for several minutes. After all, we have to do something.- he agreed and stood up again. – I´ll prepare it. You should stay here and keep eye on them.- he said leaving the room. Isobel stayed and prepared everything else so when Richard returned with heavy basket full of ice-cold sheets, Isobel began to wrap Mr. Stevens at first and then Mr. Dunker while Richard hold them. When they finnished, his gown and shirt were completely wet. He had to change so he went to his office, took off medical gown and shirt and placed them on his chair to dry of. He took another fresh and dry shirt from the wardrobe and wanted to dress it when he was interrupted by short knock followed by door opening. Isobel entered the room without waiting for answer. Richard turned around to face whoever it was with shirt in his hand. In first seconds it looked like she forgot why she invaded his office so suddendly. She stared at him for a moment, shocked exactly like Richard who was staring at her as well. – Mr. Etkins!- she said at once. – Pneumonia. The temperature has risen again and what´s the worst he is suffocating. Blood is accumulating inside his mouth.-

\- Oh my god.- he reacted and put the shirt on his bare chest buttoning it fastly. – Prepare him for tracheotomy.- he ordered and followed her as soon as he took surgical equipment from surgery-room. Isobel meanwhile desinfected Mr. Etkins´ neck and injected him mild sedative while nurse Franklin held him in upright position.

\- Emily.- Richard adressed his words towards nurse Franklin calling her untypically by her first name, - Go to the room no. 2 and take care of Mr. Stevens and Mr. Dunker.- then he turned to Isobel.

\- Will you manage to hold him meanwhile I open his trachea?- he asked and took scalpel in his hand. Isobel nodded even though she wasn´t sure about it. The sedative started to work and Mr. Etkins wasn´t coughing his blood anymore. He choked. Richard had to work quickly. He palpated the place on Mr. Etkins anterior aspect of neck and made quick incision. Immediately afterward Richard inserted tracheostomy tube into the opening and Mr. Etkins started to breath. He fixed it removed the little amount of blood using cotton gaze. The whole procedure lasted less than 2 minutes and Isobel managed to hold Mr. Etkins. Richard exchanged with Isobel and held Mr. Etkins for another while until she fixed his pillows.

\- I will take care of him.- she offered and started to clean the place from blood.

\- And I will check the other.- he agreed . – Just remember to give him 2 ml of Intraceptin after 5 minutes of rest.- she nodded.

\- And what about the temperature? May I use the cold poultices in this case?-

\- That shouldn´t be harmful.- he commented. – I´ll bring the water and some towels. But don´t forget the Intraceptin.- Isobel looked at him once again and had to smile tiredly.

\- Richard, I am afraid that you would have to chage your shirt again.-

\- Oh no.- he murmured looking at his shirt covered with small amount of blood because he forgot to take surgical gown. – If things continue like this till the morning, - he sighed, - I will have nothing to wear.- both started to laugh after this, Isobel with injection in her hand. Richard sighed again after a while and said. – Smile suits you, Isobel.- then he left leaving Isobel with her patient alone.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3 About many things

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\- we are still in the hospital, the night is slowly dying, another day is coming...and Richard talks about his past

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Richard collected all the clothes that were marked by blood: his medical gown he used during the difficult labour of Mrs. Robins, his shirts and the towels that carried the footprints of tracheothomy and wanted to put them in the clothes basket as another knock on the door interrupted him.

\- Come in!- he ordered as the door remained closed and looked at the coat hanger just to reasurre himself that Isobel hadn´t left yet. Isobel entered the room immediately. Her apron was marked by red blood points as well.

\- I hope, we are done for tonight or today.- she said weary but satisfied with her work. Richard nodded. – I will just wait for doctor Chester to acquaint him with all the cases we have. I need to give him all the informations about the patients and orders what to do.- he explained his next steps. Isobel meanwhile untied her nurse apron and put it then clothes basket as well.

\- At what time will he arrive. – she asked, not wanting to go all the way from hospital to her house alone. In fact she wished to be with Richard alone again, not with all the patients that needed them.

\- He should replace me at 6 a.m.- he answered and wrote something down, then he looked at his watch and with relief said again, - He will be there in 1 hour time, or so.- His eyes concentrated at her again and he saw the exhaustion on her face. – As I said before, I will give him needful imformations and instructions, and you, Isobel, if you are tired, what I suppose you are, you can go home. The nurses and I will manage.- Isobel took the basket full of dirty clothes, - If you can hold on, I will as well,- she answered with a little accusation in her voice but with amusement in her eyes, - And after all, you wouldn´t let me go alone all the way in such darkness, would you?-

\- Oh,- Richard said and looked through the window into the world outside remembering suddendly that the early and shiny mornings of sommer were replaced by the autumn ones. – I suppose I wouldn´t let you, you are right, but then again,- he grinned puckish.- offering resistence when you are decided to do something isn´t the wisest thing. I still remember the times when you left for France.- she just shooked her head still smiling and carried the basket into laundry room, returning several minutes later. Richard meanwhile sat down. His mind wandered again somewhere else and he wondered how much did he miss such moments. Working with her by his side became natural to him. There was no need for words or instructions. She always knew what had he thought before he asked. He missed that adrenaline, her observations and notices, her personality and foremost, he missed her smiles. He smiled as he pictured her face expression when she entered his office in the moment he was half naked. Both of them lost the ability to react for a moment. Richard shook his head reaching for the medical journal in front of him. Isobel- he said her name again and sighed. He missed her so much.

Isobel entered the room again, capturing the hint of his dreamy-smile before he realised she was there again. – Something interesting or new?- she asked pointing at the journal he was trying to focus on.

\- No.- he responded looking at her.- Unfortunatelly nothing new or interesting. From time to time, I have the feeling that some of the articles repeat themselves. Like they are changing just few words and name of the author.-

\- Hmm. Maybe they have run out of ideas. Or nothing new happened in the scientific world, which would be more sad.- she responded hoveling into the armchair next to the window.

\- That´s the latest volume?- she asked again and eyed him. Richard shook his head.

\- Just the May issue, but I had no time to read it sooner.- he explained.

\- And do you have any recent copies?- she asked. If he wants to read, which didn´t surprise her, she won´t disturb him- she thought. And she was right- he wanted to relax silently for a moment. Richard nodded and pulled out several issues of Medical Journal from the drawer. Then he stood up and carrying all the journals with the May one at the top, reached the armchair opposite of her. He handed her all the issues and sat down.

\- I hope, doctor Chester won´t be late.- he looked at his watch again.

\- I wouldn´t recommended it him.- she said innocently reaching for June issue of Medical Journal. Richard however burst into laugh. Partially because of her remark, partially because of the things that occured to him as he imagined what would she do if doctor Chester was really late. Isobel, surprised by that sudden change of his mood, raised her eyebrows. – Richard?- she demanded explanation.

\- I have only tried to imagine what would be his destiny if he was really late.- he explained still smiling. – I am sorry.- Isobel grinned as well and shooking her head started to read the journal.

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The streets they were going through soon after 6 o´clock were almost empty. The surrounding was covered by mild, humid mist and it was much colder than the afternoon the day before. Isobel wrapped into her coat more tightly, highlightning her curves for a while. Richard was walking next to her, holding his briefcase full of medical journals for Isobel, noticing her shivering.

\- Are you hungry, or it´s only me?- she asked surprisingly the second later as he was observing her body shape in that tightly wrapped coat. They were just passing by the sweet shop of Mr. Cunnings. Richard looked at that shop immediately as not to gaze at her.

\- I am.- he admitted, - But I am afraid that all the shops are still closed.- Isobel nodded as well and sighed. – That´s just part of my occupation. There is just no time for almost anything.- he smiled. And then, both of them felt pleasant and inviting aroma apart from the fragrance of humid trees growing all around. They eyed immediatelly each other and the same idea hit their minds.

\- Breakfast in my house.- she suggested .

\- I will provide for the pastry. Is there anything conrete you would like to eat?- he questioned her afterwards. Isobel was musing for a moment trying to picture the whole sortiment of bakery Kubush.

\- I have currently such feeling that I would eat anything. In fact everything, so I am afraid that choice will be upon you. –

\- That will be hard decision.- he responded, - Because I have the same feeling.- they reached the bakery few moments later. The owner and baker, Mr. Kubush, stood in front of the shop with apron covered with white flour around his waist. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and by that sight Isobel trembled again.

\- Good mornin´- he greeted them joyfully when they stopped before his shop.

\- Good morning, Mr. Kubush.- they greeted him as well almost at once.

\- I really hope, that your shop is already opened.- Richard spoke to him.

\- We are dying from hunger.- Isobel remarked truthfully expressing the feelings of both of them.

\- Of course. Just come in!- he invited them and followed them inside. The fragrance of fresh bread was so inviting and tempting even more as the pastry was still hot and the temperature in the room much higher than outside. The selection was big- freshly baked potato breads were placed in straw baskets just next to cinamon rolls and several kinds of brioche from which hot steam was escaping. There were pretzels, kiflis and many other sorts of bakery products.

\- Oh Richard.- she sighed blissfully when looking at the sortiment, - I would prefer to eat it all.-

\- That will be hard.- he grinned. It must have been really long time, she was at the bakery at such early hour when everything smelled so great. She was slowly going around the shelfs with bread and inhaled the magical odour. Richard observed her with amusement, the old baker just smiled and asked question some time later: - I´ve heard that the Robins are having son.-

\- Yes. They are, finally.- Richard nodded. – And what a boy!- Isobel joined them and that´s why the old baker asked: - Have you chosen anything?- Isobel only shrugged her shoulders.

\- Everything seems so tasty and I am simply unable to choose.-

\- The brioche are very good. Mostly the rapsberry filled ones.- Mr. Kubush offered her one.

\- Rapsberry brioche? – she took the offered one and tried by herself. – Mmm. Perfect.-

\- Decided, or? We will take them.- he told Mr. Kubush when she nodded.

\- And how many may I pack?- asked old baker already holding paper bag in his hand.

\- 10.- answered Richard without longer thinking. Isobel looked at him surprised. So many? She was hungry- she admitted and so was he, but the number of 10 seemed just too big for breakfast of two.

\- And 1 potato bread.- Richard ordered once again. A bread? Isobel was surprised. They wouldn´t eat so much for breakfast, or would they? And then she realised that after the breakfast, Richard will go home and won´t return just to buy a bread.

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\- I visited the Abbey yesterday.- she said while cutting ginger into pieces.

Richard took off the tea kettle full of hot water from the stove and poured it into the tea pot into which Isobel placed the herbs and ginger. - They must have been pleased to see you .-

\- Yes. They were. Although they were little bit surprised when I arrived and shocked when I smiled a little.- she nodded and helped him to carry all the things to the kitchen table.

\- Everybody missed your smile.- they started to eat the brioche. Isobel shrugged her shoulders not completely persuaded about his words. – Sometimes, I had the feeling, that it actually embarassed them.- she recalled the memory of the first day she met Violet. – But that was not the topic I wanted to talk about.- they started to eat at last. – They are delicious!- they said at once and smiled again.

\- I was mostly afraid of the meeting with Mary. You know, I had the feeling that,- she sighed and concentrated her eyes on the teacup in front of her,- that, she had forgotten him. That she hadn´t grieved enough.- she saddened once more.

\- Because of lord Gillingham and all the men around?- he asked carefully and sipped from the teacup watching her closely. Mostly her eyes. Isobel nodded.

\- Then I saw George,- she continued, - and he isn´t that little baby anymore. He looks exactly like Matthew in his age. I haven´t seen him last 2 months, because I was afraid that the look at him ,- she straightened herself and breathed out. It was still hard. – that the look at him will bring back even bigger pain. And I was wrong about Mary as well. It was me. I was crying too long, I surrendered to the pain.-

\- I don´t think that lady Mary forgot your son. How could she?- he said when the silence spread itself in the room again. – The pain from such big lost will never retreet completely. She had to decide: either for life or for death. She had to choose life. George needed her. And whatsmore, to make this choice, she was surrounded by her family, meanwhile you,- here he silenced for a while. He allowed his mouth to say too much without proper thinking. To say she was in fact without family was tactless and he realised it too late.

\- Just say it, Richard. We both know it.- she sighed without anger or hurt. – I have never been part of the family, of their class. After Matthew´s death, the death of their heir, I wasn´t important anymore.-

\- I didn´t mean that.- he objected immediately. – And you are wrong. Every time I visited the Abbey when needed, they asked how were you doing. They were concerned. I just wanted to say that lady Mary was in house full of people, surrounded by her closest relatives that brought her to another thoughts meanwhile you, Isobel,- he looked at her, - you were alone in this house. And that´s the difference. Maybe you are not exactly part of their class, but you are part of their family and they like you. You have seen that, haven´t you?- he asked her with questioning look in the eyes. Isobel shrugged her shoulder again. – You are wrong in one conclusion Richard.- she engaged his attention after few silent moments. – Maybe I have been thinking this all the time, but actually I was never alone. You should know the best. You were here.- another smile appeared on her face. She seemed more relieved and took another brioche. Richard smiled as well and without saying anything followed her example and took another brioche as well.

\- Have you met young miss Sybil as well?- he continued in conversation taking another sip of tea.

\- I have, indeed.- she nodded. – She is sweetheart.- and then she surprisingly grinned, - Talking about Sybie now, she wanted to know how are you Richard, or Richie?- she tried not to laugh when seeing his face expression. Richard, hearing this shortcut of his name from her lips, remained petrified for a second. – I hoped she forgot it.- he said at last. – But as I know, she likes to create such nicknames.-

\- Yes. But you must admit that Richie sounds much better than donk.- she teased again. – Tell me though , why did she start to call you like that?- Isobel wanted to know much more cheerfull.

\- Well,- he started surrendering at last, - let´s say that young lady wouldn´t let anyone to examine her if not knowing his name.-

\- That´s commendable, I must admit. But I can´t still see why did she call you Richie.- she pronounced his name again enjoying his sigh of resignation.

\- I had to say her my name, which was probably hard for her to repeat and pronounce, and it resulted in this. And I really hoped she would forgot it and never call me that again.-

\- I don´t understand why? It sounds nice.- she demanded better explanation. Richard nodded with agreement. – It would be nice, I have no doubt, if only she wasn´t yelling my name all the way down the stairs when she was running with drawing that I forgot to take with me. Dowager Countess just arrived and we met in the hall, when Sybie reached us and with little bow said: You have forgotten this Richie. I hope we will see each other soon. And then she disappeared and dowager almost spiked me with her look full of questions why was that child calling me so familiary.- Isobel burst into laugh second time that day. She could vividly imagine the reaction of cousin Violet. Richard had to smile as well glad that Isobel reacted like this.

– You impressed her, Richie.- she noticed little bit provocatively. Richard blushed.

\- I see that you are becoming yourself again.- he managed to say taking control over his body.

\- I hope so.- she admitted still smiling and took another brioche.

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After Richard´s leave, Isobel took all the journals he brought her and went to her bedroom. She changed immediately and with one issue of Medical Journal went to bed. She was tired, but wanted to finish article she had read in the hospital before. Soon afterwards she placed the journal on bedside table, she felt asleep. Not afraid of nightmares anymore, her sleep was calm and relaxing. In the moment she closed her eyes, nothing mattered, only her dreams. Her mind took her to the journey of previous night, which was completely different than in the reality. Her phantasy allowed her to fight all the worries and change them into pleasure. _She was in hospital again. Empty one with dark hall and no voices. All the rooms were only lit with dim lights. She was looking for something knowing just that she is needed somewhere else. At last, she stopped before heavy door without name-label on it. She wanted to knock, but the door opened itself letting her in._

– _Richie!- she called his name as she saw him with chest studded with blood marks. She run towards him placing her palms on his chest gazing into his eyes with worries and felt his chesthair under her fingers._

 _\- What happened? Are you injured?!- she exclaimed at once but he only embraced her and whispered to her ear. – I am alright darling. I was so worried about you.- and then he kissed her passionately stealing her breath. She closed her eyes answering his kisses again and again, not wanting to stop. In the next moment, as she opened her eyes, they were laying in bed naked. He kissed every inch of her meanwhwile she was blissfully moaning his name. They made love. Gently. Passionately. Exhaustively. He touched her with love caressing the sensitive part of her breast when she cried his name loudly: -Richard!- she couldn´t bear it anymore. She felt his breath on her neck, exhausted gasps but he kissed her again and took her into arms. – Sleep my love. Everything will be better now, I promise.- and kissed her again._ But in the same moment she closed her eyes, she woke up, still breathing heavily and looked on the other side. – Richard?- she whispered his name waiting for answer that didn´t come. She blushed, and closing her eyes realized, it was only a dream. She needed few minutes to calm down replaying that scenes in her mind. She still could hear his voice that made her feel safe. Few tears escaped her eyes. He helped her so much in the past year. He saved her. He was her best and only friend but still she was confused by that dream. She saw him different now, wanting something more than just friendship. – Richard.- she whispered his name again and left the bed. _I can´t think of him like that._ Her mind was screaming but this time she wasn´t that sure if that thought was right.

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After she returned from the house of Dowager Countess the next day, Isobel sank into the armchair in the living room. She decided to read another issue. This one, from July, was full of interesting articles about the latest discovery of France. A cure of tuberculosis was achieved by using BCG vaccine. The tubercolis was the main theme and main articles were dedicated to the results of cure and steps which lead the scientists to such amazing achievment. Isobel was so absorbed by all the words that she didn´t pay attention to the fast time flow and she handed for cup of tea that was cold. She grimaced when the cold liquid passed down her neck. Its taste was lost and only then she finally looked at the clock. It was 10 p.m. She hesitated but decided to continue in reading. When she finished all the articles about tubercolis, she was little bit disappointed. She turned another page and read the title: Lung Diseases affecting the Alveoli- she continued and then startled. Under the title was short description of the following article and name of the author. And this particular name made her to gasp:

 _Richard Clarkson, M.D._ It was written down- black on the white. She started to read straightaway not minding the late night hour or need of sleep. He wrote about various lung diseases and their causes and it seemed as he was doing research in that particular field. He mentioned some laboratory tests and interconnected them with concrete cases. His research was interesting and included studies of tubercolosis as well. This article described character of TBC, its symptoms, causes and cure, which was difficult and long lasting process. Isobel was surprised more and more. She realised that she actually didn´t know him. Or at least his life before she entered it. She wasn´t aware that he worked on research of such character and she was sure that that research couldn´t be done in the Downton Cottage Hospital. Richard had never mentioned that he would pay special attention to lung diseases even though he had great knowledge of it. At last, she took paper and pen from the drawer and wrote down some words or sentences that interested her in the article so much that she wanted to know more. The list was full of tasks, questions and notices soon after and few time she underlined unknown terms in the journal as well. She was slowly continuing to the last page of Richard´s work where he mentioned lung cancer that reminded her of one patient she actually had known. Even though it was only then when she firstly came to Downton. She invaded his peacefull life and started to meddle into his work in hospital. Another questions considering his personal life crossed her mind and she immediately wrote them down. She wanted to know more about him, about his life because he knew her already very well, sometimes even better than she knew herself. After finishing the article she yawned. It was past the midnight. She put the paper into the journal marking by it the right pages and left the room. As she climbed the stairs, she was thinking just about one thing: Richard Clarkson was man of mysteries and she wanted to solve them.

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She stopped before the door of his house. She was holding her handbag with July´ issue of Medical Journal, that contained Richard´s article. The moment she woke up, she remembered Richard´s artical and wished to know something more. Her mind was still full of questions not only considering his work. She realised, that she had lost lot of time thinking she knew him. There was no time to wait anymore and now, was decided to ask. She knocked on the door waiting for his answer not paying attention to the fact, that it was already 11 a.m. She needed to hear the answers as soon as possible. In that moment. Immediately. She knocked again impatiently waiting for him to open the door. After some time, Richard opened the door. He seemed to be surprised when finding out who was the person knocking so impatiently. Isobel stood before him in black dress as always that was in contrast with shining sunlight around her. She had never visited him without calling him before.

\- Isobel! What´s going on?- he sounded worried.

\- Nothing.- she answered surprised. – Why?- she asked but Richard only shrugged his shoulders and invited her inside to the floor.

\- Am I disturbing you?- she asked when Richard closed the door and turned to her finally facing her. – I know that I should have let you know about me coming to visit you, but I wasn´t thinking properly.- she apologized with calming smile on her face.

\- That´s all right.- he answered and helped her to get out of the coat she was wearing on the black dress.

– I didn´t expect to see anybody until the noon, that´s all. When I saw you, I just thought that someting had happened to you.- he explained. They went to the living room that was full of pleasant warmth originating from the fire in the fireplace.

\- May I offer you a cup of tea?- he asked right after. Isobel only nodded. Richard left the room for another moment and she had the chance to look around. Every wall was covered by full wooden bookshelves . But books seemed to be everywhere, not just in the bookshelves. They were placed on coffe table in the middle of the room, on the commode in front of window and one, opened in the middle, was left on the armchair with floor lamp aside. She interrupted him by reading . Her mind was crossed by immediate thought of him sitting there with that book opened, sleeves rolled up his arms, reading so focused as to be unable to pay attention to anything else. Smile appeared on her face. Isobel seated herself on the settee and waited thinking about all the questions she wanted to ask.

\- What can I help you with?- he asked finally, returning with teapot full of hot tea, two cups and plate of biscuits. Isobel pulled out the July issue of Medical Journal from her bag she was given two days before. – I was reading this issue yesterday.- she started to explain. – Finnally something worth to read, I must say. Most of the articles are devoted to the newest discovery of medicine and research and then there is one particularly very interesting one, that surprised me.- She handed him the journal.

– Page 46.- she ordered him because at first he just skimmed the pages without recognizing anything so interesting. Richard found the page 46 and scanned it with eyes.

\- I understand.- he remarked even though it wasn´t true. – I didn´t know they had published it.-

\- You wrote that article for them? You didn´t mention it!- she asked and moved closer to his armchair with look full of another questions.

\- I did.- he nodded, - But to be honest, I forgot it. It´s long time after all, they had asked me to write something. It must have been 2 years at least, since I had sent this article together with some others, including the one you have written.-

\- You mean that report about pros and cons of waterbirth?- she rembered and scowled when thinking simething like that would be published.

\- Yes. That one. You agreed.- he answered and skimmed that article again remarking some underlinings.

\- I am glad that they published your article, not mine.- she shrugged the shoulders and smiled relieved again. – But back to the reason of my visit. This article isn´t just result of one night or dozen of such nights, am I right?- Richard nodded.

\- Of course you are. This represent the summary of my multiannual studies and research when I worked at the University. But of course all of the informations are in accordance with the latest informations.- his answer sounded like it was completely something usual. Isabel´s eyes widened little bit and her lips parted. – You worked on University?- he had to smile before he continued.

\- Lets say, that I stayed in Edinburgh few years after I graduated and together with profesor Jatkins we worked on research of pneumonic plague and some other similar diseases. Concerning this I could teach.- he explained uncovering piece of his past.

\- I am shocked.- she reacted, - At first that article, then I find out that I am speaking with profesor and now I ask myself what else will I learn about you. Why haven´t you mentioned this before?- she sounded little bit reproachfully.

\- I don´t know.- he admitted. – I didn´t considered it to be important and there was never reason for such talk. Man has different things on mind when working.-

\- Maybe you are right, but this is much more interesting than to hear the observation of patients condition.- she objected. – You taught at the Edinburgh University! You participated on the pneumonic plague research! Richard, that´s amazing! I mean it.- he had to laugh on the way she spouted it. – Thank you.- he said finally glad that the smile glamourised her face as well.

\- I noticed, that you had underlined some sentences and words. I suppose you want to ask something, right?-

\- Yes. But I don´t know what I want to know first? If I should ask the questions about the uncertainities I had reading your article, or the ones about you.- she spouted again slightly brushing.

\- Lets begin with the article.- he proposed, - there will be time for boring stories another time.-

\- I don´t see anything boring on doing research.- she opposed. – Anyway, I agree with your suggestion, but be prepared for the next time.-

\- As you wish. I can bore you more than usually the next time.- after this, he took the journal into his hands again and Isobel took the paper full of tasks into hers. She wanted to know more, she needed to understand some uncertainities and details that weren´t clear. Richard was glad to explain everything and the more she asked, the more his dedication to unravel it all raised. He had to stand up several times in order to bring one or another book to show her all the details. He wasn´t sitting in armchair anymore, no, he sat next to her and they discussed all the facts like long time ago, but this time with bigger passion and dedication. After 2 hours full of questions and answers they were interrupted by the church bell telling them what time it is. – Dear Lord!- she exclaimed. Richard looked surprised as well. – I suppose I kept you occupied too long.- he could read in her face, but she shook her head.

\- No.- she objected. – This is my fault after all. I have just realised that I promised to visit the Abbey. Sybie has birthday party. And you have night shift, if I remember right, do you?- Richard nodded.

\- The duties are calling us.- he closed the last book and placed it on the top of another one. Isobel stood up and followed by him entered the front door. He helped her to slip into her coat.

\- Don´t forget than the next time we are talking about you and the Edinburgh.- she reminded him and smiled because he wasn´t that much satisfied.

\- As you wish.- he asnwered at last knowing that trying to fight about this wouldn´t bring him the victory. Isobel smiled triumphally.

\- I am glad and thank you one more time for clearing all the uncertainities I had.-

\- Anytime.- he nodded.

\- Good bye, Richard.-

\- Good bye, Isobel, - he answered. – And deliver please my best wishes to the young lady.-

\- I will, Richie.- she promised grimming and left.

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TBC


	4. The heart of lion

She spent more of her time at the Abbey again, where she was involved in talks and chats with the family and Mary. Although they did they best to occupy her, she didn´t feel that relaxed in their company. She missed something. She missed Richard and work. She hasn´t seen him few days and every time she tried to reach him using telephone, he was somewhere else than home or hospital. Isobel played with children again and Sybie did her best work to entertain her favourite aunt. Lonelyness was forgotten for another hour. Sybie played nurse again. With older apron, that Mrs. Hughes shortened for her, she took care of her ill dolls that were laying on floor. She tried to heal everyone and was babbling different diagnoses every now and then.

\- I don´t like that!- she said at once and looked worried at Isobel with a roller she took from wooden building kit that served as a stethoscope. Isobel looked directly at her, being afraid that the little girl means the lack of attention she was paying to her while playing with baby George.

\- What, sweetie?- she asked anyway hoping that she is wrong. Sybie pointed at her teddy bear and with concern in voice answered this question as well.

\- I think that Teddy is ill.- she took him into her arms and handed him to Isobel. – I have heard the bacilli as well.- the little girl remarked. Isobel was astonished just by the fact that the kid knew such word. – Bacilli? Are you sure?- she asked anyway continuing in play and listened Teddy´s belly holding George still in her arms. – You might be right, Sybie.- she concluded finally because of the questioning look in Sybil´s eyes. – Try to use this stethoscope. It might help.- the girl said handing her the roller with bright smile upon her face.

– Who did you learn such things?- Isobel wanted to know even is she was almost sure by the answer and used the roller.

\- Richie!- she exclaimed happily and continued explaining as if it was the most common thing. – He is the doctor and I always help him when he comes to heal somebody. The last time he was there, he lend me his stethoscope,- she smiled, - and do you know what I heard?-

\- No.- Isobel answered amused by that child and put George down to let him play with Sybie´s teddy.

\- Ticking.- Sybie said. – But not the ticking you hear in hours but the BUM BUM like one.- she pointed at her heart. George clapped with his little hands and repeated the BUM BUM sounds. Both of the girls smiled.

\- George is funny, when he tries to talk.- Sybie remarked and joined him in play. – Will he always be like that?-

\- No. He just needs to learn it properly and that may last some time. But if you help him, he will succed sooner or later.- Isobel kissed him on top of his golden haired head.

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Isobel stayed there another hour and then tired little bit left the Abbey saying good bye to the family. It started to darken after several minutes and the temperature was falling down rapidly when the wind started to blow. She speeded up. Isobel was still wearing an autumn coat and at that moment she wondered why. As she passed through the alley of grey pines, everything darkened even more. The solituted embraced her again breathing at her from behind the high trees, which made the look of the surrounding country even more gloomy. She wrapped the coat around her tighter and hurried up more. She wanted to leave that bleaky alley as soon as possible and see the weak light of dying afternoon again. Finally, Isobel reached the crossroad leading to the main path towards the village. The road to the center was still long, but the worst part was behind her. She sighed and burrowed into her thoughts once more trying to ignore all the negative ones. Suddendly, somewhere in the distance, she hear her own name. She didn´t pay any attention to it but when that voice called her name again, she stopped and turned around trying to find out from which direction was that sound coming.

\- Isobel!- the person called her name the thrid time.

\- Richard?- she answered recognizing his voice eventually and after another moment she saw the well known person clearly as well. Her heart leapt for joy, she smiled and walked toward him.

\- I had tried to phone you so many times, but you were never there.- she reproached him slightly when they met.

\- I did the same but I always heard just the voice of your cook telling me you are at Abbey.- he replied and offered her his arm which she gladly accepted.

\- I suppose you are coming from the Abbey.- they continued together. Isobel nodded.

\- And you are coming from another patient visit.- she noticed his medical bag.

\- The influenza hasn´t launched into epidemy fortunately, but the need to control all the ill patients is always present.- he admitted.

\- I´ve heard you started to train new nurse.- Isobe broached focusing on his changing face expression that seemed little bit confused.

\- New nurse?- he repeated, - That´ s your job. You have always trained them.- Isobel smiled and began with explaining.

\- It is usually, that´s right but it seems that you did my job when lecturing little Sybie Branson.-

\- Oh, she played the nurse again.- he smiled as well.

\- Yes. She tried to listen to the heartbeat of her teddy bear using stethoscope and claimed to hear bacilli.-

\- Bacilli?- he wondered.

\- Bacilli. I suppose she heard that from you.- she was joyfull because the shadow of solutide was slowly passing away.

\- Maybe.- he admitted nodding and smiled. – She reminds me of you sometimes.-

\- Is she mixing herself into your work as well?- she joked remembering the first weeks of their cooperation.

\- I didn´t mean that and you know it very well.- he opposed and Isobel nodded, smiled, and with little blush in her cheeks looked in front of her. They were slowly reaching the village. – She likes exploring new things and ways just like you as well as helping others.-

\- Mybe she will help us in the hospital once.-

\- Dowager Countess wouldn´t be pleased.- he chuckled. Isobel wrapped her hands around his shoulder tighter.

\- She will have to. The world changes so fast and she is becoming aware of it more and more every day.- she said continuing, - Anyway, Sybie became fond of you always asking when will you visit her next.-

\- I am honoured.- Richard admitted even though he didn´t know what that child saw on him. – But it is impossible now when so many people need the doctor and to be honest, it is inappropriate.-

\- Inappropriate? Maybe in your eyes, but,- she protested but Richard stopped her. He heard something reminding him of moaning in the distance. – Do you hear it as well?- he asked. Isobel silenced and focused on the sounds around. – I think I hear something like groans. Did you mean that?-

\- Yes.- he nodded and then they heard it again but louder as well as some rude words or invectives.

\- Richard?- she addressed him little bit frightened. The look in his eyes told her what was on his mind.

\- Stay here, Isobel!- he ordered her without hint of joke. She released him unwillingly and kept her eyes on him as he was disappearing in the shadowy distance. Richard was leaving her and she couldn´t do anything to stop him. Doctor Clarkson knew immediately what was going on- somebody was being beaten. He knew that it might be dangerous and that mainly because of Isobel´s presence, but he truly hoped she would listen to his order this time. With every step he took he could hear and see more. The moans and groans multiplied in their intesity. Eventually he recognized 2 men. He took a deep breath that gave him more courage and shouted at the two of them: - What are you doing! Begone!- his scottish accent intensified. The men stopped at once and turned around surprised. They looked at the man running towards them and laughed: - An old man!- said one with sneer. Richard let his medical bag fall down. Scrounger in long, dirty coat attacked him with fists directing to his face, but Richard reacted quickly. He managed to strike back and blocked scrounger´s fist with elbow. With the second hand clenched into fist Richard hit man´s abdomen smiting the liver and pushed him to the stone wall lining the road. The man moaned, but didn´t give up while the second aggressor kicked the person laying on the road in pain. Richard pushed the man with all his weight and hit him again in the liver. Man groaned but managed to free his fist and smit Richard in the hip. He murmured some angry words and his face was crossed by pain. He gritted his teeth in silent fury and stroke man´s flank with knee with all his power. He shouted from pain that escalated through his body and froze unable to move. The second man turned around and left his victim. His commrade was crying in pain slowly falling down still beaten by fists of that old man. He run toward Richard. The next moment Richard was surprised by the sudden grip of his shoulder. Fist reached his face hitting the nose and the thuno into his ribs followed. Isobel could hear everything and was paralysed when she heard Richard´s groan. She started to run that way without thinking. She couldn´t stand there. She was scared too much and not becuase of herself. – Richard!- she cried calling his name cathing the attention of the man boxing to Richard. The second one was still laying on the ground in pain.

\- Richard!- She shouted once more being closer. Richard felt worry hitting his mind because he saw the lusty look in that man´ eyes. The man, thinking that Richard was done, turned around and looked at Isobel that stopped few meters before them.

\- You won´t touch her!- Richard cried suddenly and grabbed his leg pulling him to ground. After this he thumped him even more angrily hitting his face and abdomen at almost the same time.

\- You won´t near her!- Richard gasped beating him furiously. Isobel wasn´t able to look at it but saw the resolution in Richard´s action. She heard the moaning again coming from the distance. She grabbed Richard´s bag and went that way. Man in pain and need was there. She kneeled down turning him so he faced her. – Barrow!- she whispered with shock and opened the bag taking out of it everything she needed to examine him and cure the visible wounds. She could still hear the sounds of fight in the distance and had to close her eyes every time she heard Richard´s moan. He was in pain but fought anyway. He couldn´t stop, not if they knew that Isobel was there as well. Blood was running from his nose, and the second man almost joined the fight. Richard had to react quickly and get rid of his grip that almost caused hi fall. In the last second he grabbed the coat of the another man and pulled him down as well. Fighting like mad he managed to get rid of them. Another cry was heard and Isobel turned around when strong light blinded her. – A car!- she said and stood up waving with her hands. The car stopped.

\- Mrs. Crawley?- said the shocked man when he saw her. It was William Robinson, the farm man, returning from markt. He heard the voices and sounds as well and looked that way

\- Is doctor Clarkson there?- he guessed directly. Isobel nodded and with cry-like voice answered.

\- Yes. Please, help him!- Mr. Robinson run that way and Isobel returned to Barrow. He reached the fight and tore the man from Richard, even though he wasn´t fighting anymore, just holding the line of doctors coat. Richard breathed heavily but manage to stand up.

\- Joe Cocker and Hank Burns.- Mr. Robinson said looking at the groaning men. – Are you alright doctor?- he asked immediately.

\- Aye.- Richard nodded calming down slowly before he went Isobel´s way.

\- What happened?- William asked him following his steps.

\- Later.- Richard said. Only then Mr. Robinson saw the man Isobel was trying to nurse. Richard kneeled next to her and sighed from pain. – How is he?- he asked relieved that she is unharmed.

\- He isn´t very well. I tried to clear the visible wounds but I am afraid there are more which we cannot see.- then she looked at him and gasped. He had lost his hat, his hair was tossed and his lips and moustache were covered by blood running from his nose. She reached out her hand and gently touched his cheek. – Dear lord! Richard!- she whispered and tear escaped her eye. Richard closed his eyes for another moment and with sigh said: - I am alright. We need to take care of Barrow.- then he turned around facing Mr. Robinson that was looking at them. – Will you drive us to hospital?-

They reached it in 10 minutes. Isobel hurried up to prepare the surgery room and gave quick instructions to the nurses. Richard with Mr. Robinson brought Barrow inside. The nurses prepared him for surgery.

\- Call the police and Abbey and tell them what happened.- Richard ordered to Mr. Robinson and turned to face Isobel.

\- Will you assist me?- he asked. – I need to open him and see the range of internal injuries.- Isobel nodded. – And what about you, Richard. Are you sure you will manage?-

\- We have no other choice, do we? He needs the surgery.-

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\- Tampon.- Isobel ordered and reached her hand out towards one of the sisters. Holding it firmly in surgical steel tongs, she applied it on the place of appendix rupture to soak up all the harmful acid. Richard removed it soon after using scalpel.

\- What´s the breathing like, nurse?- he asked putting the removed part of intestine into metal container. He wanted to know how much time did they have to close him before too late.

\- Shallow, but regular. The heartbeat is little bit faster.- she informed him soaking up small amount of blood.

\- Add 10 mg of narcotic.- he ordered and sighed.

\- Is everything all right?- Isobel asked immediately with worries in her voice.

\- It seems hopefully,- he nodded, - But we have to hurry.- his answer was quick as his work with needle.

\- I meant you, Richard.- Isobel soaked the fluid again.

\- I am alright.- Richard replied but not very persuasive and continued in his work. He stiched up another little wound on Barrow´s liver, but there was still too much blood.

\- The liver makes me worried.- he admitted speaking more to himself than to Isobel.

\- There is still too much blood, isn´t it? – she nodded. – You have sewed everything visible, but there is still too much to soak up. We don´t have that much blood supply left.- Richard controled everything quickly. – I had to overlook something.- he said and ordered,- Aspirate it here.- he showed her the place, where the blood accumulated the fastest. Isobel listened to his orders and did as she was told.

\- 2 mg of haemocoagulate and 3 mg of amnen.- she motioned to the nurse managing the aenesthesy, that looked little bit surprised when hearing such words from Isobel´s mouth and looked at the doctor.

\- Do what you are told.- he growled little bit. – Don´t you see what is needful?- he sighed again because of headache that intesified. He found the source of bleeding right after and stiched the tlittle rupture of liver. Richard´s breathing changed so suddendly, it became heavier and faster.

\- Richard!- she warned him, because he seemed to pay no attention to it, trying to complete the surgery. He looked at her, realising what is she pointing at but said: - I will manage.-

\- No. You won´t. You need to rest.- she opposed. – I will finish it. I can do it and you know it very well. Please, go.- Richard sighed but nodded and handed her the equipment. Right after that, Isobel continued in his work like a surgeon, sewin up and stitching everything that needed to be.

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Her steps led to his office. She expected to see him layig down on the couch, but as she entered the room, no one was there. Her look rested on the coat hanger, but both of their coats were still hanged on it. They were marked by blood and mud. Isobel realised again what horrible sight it was to see Richard in fight and Barrow in the horrible pain. She left the room and searched Richard. She went through many rooms when she finnally entered the right one. Richard lied on bed with hands on his face trying to nurse himself. On the table next to him stood disinfective solution and cotton tampons. Without a word, she proceeded to the bed. – How are you?- she asked.

\- Still having headache, but otherwise, I am alright.-

\- I see.- she said and sat down on the edge of his bed, removing his hands in which he held tampon from his face. Richard followed her by his look, taken aback. She took one cotton tampon into her hand and started to clean the blood remains under his nose.

\- It shouldn´t be broken.- she remarked after a while. – It seems to be bruised only.-

\- I agree.- he murmured and sighed as she brushed his lip. – I am sorry.- she apologized and fixed his nose with bandage. After that her look focused on his forehead but except few hair strands that were crossing it, nothing seemed to be unusual. – Do you think that you might suffer from brain concusion?- she asked and combed that hair strands back using her fingers.

\- No. My consiousness and mind are alright.- he assured her with little smile appearing on his face. Her touches were gentle and pleasant even though they were quick.

\- How is Barrow?- he asked when she didn´t move to leave.

\- He seems to be alright, now, but we will know more after he wakes up. Don´t worry and try to relax.- she smiled as well and brushed her arm against his hip. He sighed with pain , grabbed her hand and removed it from his body.

\- Richard!- she frowned and scanned him again. His knuckles were bludgeoned. Isobel shook her head and grabbed his hands once more.

\- Try to keep still for a moment.- she started to unbotton his shirt.

\- Isobel!- he didn´t want her to uncover him. That would be too much for him to bear.

\- You are a doctor, Richard. You should understand that.- she protested. – You cannot treat yourself and anyway, I have seen you without shirt before.- she gave him strict look and he only sighed with resignation and looked somewhere else. It was too hard to remain calm when she touched him for the first time. Her warm fingertips gently brushed his chest, but it hurt little bit. She moved her hands little bit down and he almost gasped as he touched his abdomen on which bruise big like two her fists appeared. It was painful but gave him in that moment unwelcome pleasure as well, which was hard to control. His heartbeat fastened.

\- It seems that your ribs might be clashed a little.- she commented not marking anything else unusual, or paying attention to his moan. She pushed againt his abdomen little bit and another groan escaped his mouth. He looked at her.

\- I will lubricate all the bruises with mentol unction and bandage your ribs to stabilise them.- she explained and did as she told before warily spreading the unguent onto his chest. Richard had to close his eyes. He bit his lip. He felt the circulating movement of Isobel´s fingers all around his chest and abdomen. The tender touch and warmth, that escaped from her fingertips, caused goosebumps and accumulation of heat in some parts of his body. He did his best as to keep it only that way. Isobel, anyway, didn´t marked it. She focused on his chest and treatment of his wounds. All the pictures of that fight and voices reappeared in her mind. She couldn´t imagine the pain he had to feel when he was beaten and kicked. – Did it hurt overly?- she whispered passing through his chesthair that tickled her.

\- Not that much.- he answered opening his eyes for a moment. – Adrenaline in the body reduced the pain perception.

\- They could have killed you!-

\- They almost killed Barrow.- he reacted to her reproach. – You would do the same if you were me. Every doctor would do that.-

\- Not every one.- she objected, - Is there anything else that hurts?-

\- No. Thank you.- he answered truthfully, but Isobel looked at him with suspicion.

\- Are you sure, or do I have to palapte you again?- she said. Richard looked at her with shock, few seconds later started to laugh. – I am sure. Really.- She had to laugh as well realizing what it must have sounded like. But then she shook her head and said. – It will hurt you even more if you won´t stop.- he realized that as well and stopped.

\- I agree. Sometimes I say something that might sound weird.- she admitted and reaached for gaze and bandages. – I will fix your ribs.- she informed him and he sat down. Isobel did it quickly because having him that close, feeling his warmth and attractive fargrance of mentol and his aftershave, made her feel weeker. Richard finally buttoned his shirt again and layed down.

\- I have called doctor Chester and asked him to take your duties in the next four days.- Isobel informed him standing again next to his bed.

\- 4 days? Isn´t that too much?- he wanted to protest but then he catched her look. – There´s no sense in protesting, am I right? –

\- Yes you are. I am glad, you understand it.- she nodded satisfied. – Just rest. I will stay and take control over hospital until the arrival of doctor Chester.-

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Another cup of coffee was in her, another check up of patients was over. Isobel felt the fatigue. She left the room of Mr. Etkins and was passing through the corridor when she stopped before the room where Richard stayed. She stood there without any other motion several seconds. She could see him in her mind. Fighting. Smiling. Groaning. Laughing. All of that happened that day, that night. She wanted to know if he is alright, asleep, relaxing, healing. She moved closer to the door and tried to listen. Nothing. No sounds. Just calmness, which she didn´t feel in the moment. Isobel opened the door and looked inside. The dim light coming from the corridor created narrow strip on the floor. She stepped inside and heard him. His breath, echo of his heartbeat. She closed the distance between his bed and her and sat down looking at his calm face. She recognized the bandage on his nose, slightly parted lips and still tossed hair. She was thinking. Thinking if he gazed at her the same way that night when he helpd her to gain the silence again. Thinking if he wondered what she had been dreaming about as well. She was asking herself what had he been thinking about, what had he felt, what did she feel just that moment. Now. This second. Not knowing how or when, she realized she was holding his hand. Caressing his knuckles. She moved higher placing her palm on his cheeks. She followed the line of his cheekbones and eventually touched his forehead with the second arm. She sleeked that tossed hair strands back. She wondered how had he looked when they had the shiny colour of sun. Smile escaped her lips. Young, blue-eyed man with scottish accent and wide smile. She didn´t knnow how long she remained like that, but finally she had to leave. She heard steps from the corridor approaching. – Nurse Crawley?- she heard nurse Franklin.

\- Yes.- she answered and joined her in the corridor, closing the door behind. – What happened?- Isobel asked automatically as she saw that worried look in nurse´s eyes.

\- Police is here. They want to talk with you and doctor Clarkson.- the young woman answered.

\- I suppose they are in doctor Clarkson´s office, am I right?- the nurse nodded. – Alright. I´ll go there and you keep the eye on rest of the patients.- she ordered and left.

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Doctor Chester arrived soon after 7 o´clock automatically heading to the office of doctor Clarkson. He knocked on the door but no one answered him. He opened the door to find out that the office is empty. For a while, he thought, that the hospital remained without adequate supervision but then he saw 2 coats hanging on the hanger, recognizing that one of doctor Clarkson. He left the room in order to find someone and announce his arrival. He followed his hearing listening to the women voices. His steps stopped when he reached another room with open door. He opened them even more and looked inside. He saw an older woman in medical gown examining one of the patients.

\- Mrs. Crawley?- he adressed her not sure if it is her. He had never seen her before. Isobel turned around. – Doctor Chester.- she said and smiled with tired look. – Thank you for coming. I will show you all the cases, if you have no objections.- Doctor Chester gazed at her shocked. He saw her first time in his life and never imagined her like that. In white medical gown. Woman. Examining and treatimg patients. Woman. And that one should explain him the condition of patients? He nodded eventually and asked still slightly confused. – Where is doctor Clarkson?-

\- He is injured.- she replied with concern.

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Richard left the room. His body was stiff and he felt week. He did few steps heading to his ofiice.

\- Richard!- he heard angry voice. He turned around and saw doctor Chester accompanied by Isobel, walking his direction. – You should be in bed and not jaunting around.- she lectured him and took him by shoulder. Doctor Chester was shocked even more when seeing this. How dare she speak with him like this.- crossed his mind immediately. Richard had obviously different opinion. He sighed and repeated the same thing he had told her the previous night so many times. – I am alright. There are another people that need the care.-

\- I know and as you can see, doctor Chestre has come to accomplish this task.- she held him even though he really didn´t look like he needed it. He rolled his eyes and sighed again, but Isobel gave him questioning look. – All right.- he turned his face to doctor Chestre. – I assume that you have been told about all the cases and patients´condutions, am I right?- he sounded like his old self again.

\- Yes. But I would like to discuss some cases.- he said looking at Richard and Isobel seconds later.

\- I have informed you about everything, doctor. You are given all the details you need to be able to look after these patients.- Isobel answered but another thought crossed her mind. The disbelief might have come from the fact she was a woman, not even a doctor. Richard gave him stren look and continued: -I believe, that you have met with most of the cases we have in hospital right now. The only new patient is Mr. Barrow,- he silenced for a moment to emphasize the rest, - For his treatment is responsible nurse Crawley, she assisted me during the surgery and finished it eventually. If there are any questions concerning Mr. Barrow, you will have to ask nurse Crawley. I, as you have heard, I have to rest.- Doctor Chester nodded and left immediately. Richard shook his head, Isobel smiled amusedly. – He won´t loook a tme for very long time after this.-

\- That´s possible but if he wants to know something more about Barrow´s condition, I would be useless. I wouldn´t answer his questions better than you.-

\- No. You wouldn´t.- she agreed. – And now, you should go to bed.-

\- I know. But I would prefer staying at home. As you said, I need peace, and I couldn´t achieve that here.-

\- So you want to leave now? Like that?- she disagreed but was interrupted by another nurse.

\- Lord Grantham has arrived. He is waiting in your office, doctor, and wants to speak with both of you about Mr. Barrow.- she informed them.

\- Tell him, we will be there in minute.- he answered and the nurse left. – It seems that I will have to wait little bit longer to get my rest.- he sighed.

\- I must admit, that I haven´t expected him to come personally,- she admitted, - but I am afraid that he won´t be the only one to question you. The police officers were here befor 6 o´clock and wanted to speak with you as well.-

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	5. The past of the doctor

Hello again! This chapter takes us into Richard´s past and makes Isobel realize what she really feels towards this wonderful man...but the worries and sadness return...

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Richard was home the second day. He sat in his armchair listening to old LP records of the classical music and enjoyed the moments of having no duties. The table in front of him was full of books and issues of medical journaô which he hadn´t read for ages just longingly looking at them from time to tim. Bandage on his nose was no more needful, even though the marks of bruises were still present. He felt much better even though the fixation on his chest was still reminding him of that evening. The fire in fireplace was calmly burning and glowing. The entire living room was filled with heat and tones of Chopin´s Nocturnes on which he concentrated more than on the news in world he was reading about. Perfect relax with amazing atmosphere and silence. All the time he had now was meant to be just his. No duties, no responsibilities. The sounds coming from gramophone made him close his eyes and let everything else simply flux. His mind was full of different pictures capturing the moments of past days, week, months and years. All the memories had mostly something in common- Isobel. She was part of them. She changed his life, turned everything around. Just her arrival almost 10 years ago and first time she crossed his steps in hospital. So vivid. Active. Challenging. He smiled unconsciously. She became part of his every day´s life. He was wondering what was she thinking about him. If she felt the same way about him as he thought about her. He hoped so and let his mind travelling to the distant parts of no control. Then, his silence, was interrupted again. Bell ringing. He sighed and opened his eyes remainig for several seconds just sitting and asking himself why. The ringing repeated itself. It wasn´t just dream. He stood up and went to the doors hoping that there was no urgency and need of his help. He opened the door and his heart was hit by even bigger joy than he felt in previous hours. – Isobel.- he said surprised and smiled inviting her in. – Richard. Good afternoon.- she smiled as well and handed him her coat just in the moment the door closed. – I hope I am not interrupting you.- she added afterwards as they reached the living room and she noticed the open journal on his armchair and wonderful sounds of music. – Of course not.- he assured her. – As you can see I am absolutely unoccupied and doing nothing most of the time.- She sat down on the couch- her usual place. – May I offer you cup of tea?- he asked immdiatelly. Isobel nodded but when she saw he was going for it to the kitchen, she stopped him by words. – I´ll serve myself. Just sit.-

\- You are my guest!- he objected. – I will manage.- and left the room leaving her alone. She remained sitting several seconds but then the gentle sounds of piano caught her senses. She wanted to add the volume. Slowly approaching the gramophone, she took the paper covering of LP record into her hands. – Chopin. Nocturnes.- she read but knew what she was listening to the moment she entered the room. Her eyes scanned the back side. Then she noticed the photo frames that cought her attention the last time she visited. She wanted to find Richard´s face, but couldn´t. There was only one photo with a man that resembled him.

\- That´s my brother.- his voice said. Without her noticing it, Richard stood right behind her. – Andrew and his wife Elizabeth.- then he put down the tray with another teacup and some biscuits. Isobel returned the photo frame on its original place and blushed a little, that she tried to intrude his private life. – I am sorry.- she apologised but Richard only shook his head and joined her smilling. – These are their children, my nephews and niece.- he took another photo depicting 4 young people. – The eldest one John,- he pointed on him and named the others, - Andrew, Matylde and Rupert. He is studying medicine on my alma mater.-

\- Another doctor in your family.- she remarked with relief.

\- Yes. The only one of the boys, who hasn´t followed Andrew in his footsteps but decided to follow in mine.- he said proudly and Isobe had to smile again pointing on another photo.

\- I assume that these are your parents, am I right?- she dared to took that frame into her hands. The man on it was high and sternly-looking and next to him stood slim woman with obviouls lightly-coloured hair. Richard nodded and took the frame from her hands after a while.

\- This was taken on the day my father had been named the university chancellor.- he placed it back and changed the topic. – Do you mind the music?- he asked as they settled themselves again leaving the theme of his family.

\- No. I like Chopin and I must admit it is long time since I had the opportunity to listen to his nocturnes.- Isobel answered and took the teacup into her hands.

\- How are you?- she asked respectfully, feeling that the atmosphere they were right in became little bit unpleasant for him.

\- Much better. Thank you. I have finally time for relax, books and music.-

\- And I am depletting you of it again.- she judged and saddened bitong her bottom lip unconsciosly. That enchanted him even more but he objected immediately.

\- That´s your opinion, Isobel, and I have to say a very wrong one, for once. I can still hear the sounds of gramophone and I don´t have to heal. This is, in my experience a very good example of relaxation and what´s more, in nice company.- he reached for the teacup as well. – If I gave you impression telling you something else, I must apologize.-

\- You?- she was taken aback by his words. Glad as well he wasn´t angry. – I was the curious one once again. But the photographies engaged my attention.- she admitted. – You have never spoken about your family before.-

\- There wasn´t any occasion to do so in fact and I have never thought somebody would care to listen.- he shrugged his shoulders explaining.

\- You are right.- Isobel admitted with smile. – But only in the fact that there was no occasion for it. If I can ask, then,- she continued looking at him, waiting for approval which came directly afterwards.

\- What´s the occupation of your brother and your nephews?-

\- Andrew is a lawyer. John and Andrew jr. are working in his law firm, that he established some 20 years ago.- he answered.

\- And who is the older one?- she wanted to know.

\- Andrew, surprisingly.- he grinned when he saw her perplexed look. – I know, man would await that the older son followed his father´s steps, but not Andrew. One year at medicine was enough for him, to know that that wasn´t the right occupation for him.-

\- I can´t imagine what would my father say or do if Mark decided not to study medicine as well.- Isobel reminded herself of her older brother about whom she spoke several times before.

\- I can say, that my father wasn´t pleased as well, but despite of his stern look, he was understanding and reconciled with brother´s decision quickly.- both of them started to feel more relaxed and laidback.

\- Have you ever thought about studying anything else, like your brother?-

\- I don´t know.- he reflected on for a while. – But you know yourself. Father was taking us with him to the university of hospital since the childhood, mostly during weekends of course. And when we had to decide what to do next, there was in fact no other choice than mediceine, because it had been decided long before.-

\- We spent some weekends in hospital as well.- she nodded, - But my mother wasn´t very pleased when I went as well. She was persuaded that young girl should have different interests.- Richard had to grin again. He couldn´t imagine her doing something else. He couldn´t imagine her without that passion for medicine. The LP record´s sound was slowly dying and the upcoming silence violated somehow that pleasant, home-like atmosphere. Richard gave her asking look and stood up reaching the gramophone. – Another LP full of Chopin?- he asked. Isobel nodded and sipped from the tea. He turned back replacing the LP´s and Isobel stared at his buttocks again.

\- And what about you?- he asked still turned. – Have you ever thought about doing something else?-

\- Of course.- she repeated focusing on something else with little blush in her cheeks. – But it was impossible for me to be doctor as well and the profession of nurse was the only one that allowed me to do similar things doctors do.-

\- That´s a pitty.- he remarked returning to his armchair again. – The medical gown suits you better than the nurse apron.-

\- Try to explain it to the universities in our country, even though, it could be possible nowadays, but not then.- she laughed openly. She was glad Richard saw her like this. – But back to the original topic.- she continued. – The last time, you agreed to tell me more about Edinburgh, your studies and professorship.-

\- I see. You want to be bored?- he sighed puckishly.

\- We will see later.- she disagreed.

\- As you wish.- he gave up eventually.- I can bore you more than usually. But I don´t know where to start.-

\- At the beginning, maybe?- she joked and poured the tea into their cups. He took a deep breath but instead of talking he started to laugh. Isobel eyed him not understanding why.

\- I really don´t know where to start.- he tried to explain. – University life is mostly about studying and with that interconnected nights without sleep. And what´s more, all of it happened long time ago.- he said but began anyway. The next 40 minutes were full of his stories, mostly funny ones, that brought her to laugh several times.

\- Did you have any hobbies beside studies?- she asked. Richard raised his eyebrow obviously thinking again. – I used to play cricket.- he smiled remembering that times. – Since the second year, I was member of the university team and we managed to win one or two championships.-

\- That explains your swish.- she concluded.

\- My swish?- he repeated clueless.

\- Blow, better said.- she corrected herself. Richard smilled again realising finally what did she mean.

\- Oh yes. I used to be a batsman.-

\- Batsman?- she repeated this time looking little bit absent-minded for a while.

\- Yes.- he agreed, not understanding again where she leads with such questions.

\- And did you play in ´83?- she questioned him thoughtfully.

\- Yes. We won the championship in that year.- he had to grin again thinking about it. They defeated the favourized team of winners from previous years.

\- And you took care of the winning scoring.- she added looking surprised herself.

\- How do you know that?- he asked startled. It happened just like she said. They managed to keep the draw until last minutes, but then, he wasn´t still sure how was that possible, he managed to score the last run.

\- Maybe, you won´t believe it, - she shook her head and smiled amused, - but I saw that match. My brother, Mark, used to play cricket too and that was his last match before he graduated.-

\- Aren´t you joking, are you?- he wanted to reasurre himself. It would have never crossed his mind that they could have met before, long time ago in fact.

\- I am not joking. But I used to tease my brother for several days just because of that match. He was broken.- she explained.

\- I am sorry for that.- he smiled as well, delighted to see her talking about it so vividly.

\- Mark was sure, that they would win, just like the last few years. I believe that your team surprised him with that draw alone, that last scoring was for him too much.- she sighed, - I would have never thought that that young man, that defeated my brother, were you.-

\- Neither did I.- he admitted, - That year was really good. We had almost only new members in the team, but I believe that this helped us the most. We tried new tactic and surprises, that confused our rivals.-

\- It certainly did confuse my brother.- she grinned. Isobel didn´t have many opportunities to see him like this before- so relaxed, smiling, merry, relieved.

\- Yes. Nice years.- he said with nostalgy.

\- And what about your work after the studies? Research?-

\- After the studies, I stayed at the university working on my doctorate. Lectures of professor Jatkins engaged my interests the most, that´s why I choosed the topic of lung diseases. My work was judged very well and professor Jatkins offered me post in his research team.-

\- You have mentioned that your father was the university chancellor. Have you worked with him as well?- she wanted to know more. Richard shook his head.

\- My father became the university chanvellor after I left and his specialisation was different. He was gyneacologists and did research in this field of medicine. And anyway, it wouldn´t be very wise to work with him. It might have brouht doubts about my own qualities and capabilities if working with him.-

\- I understand.- she nodded. – How long did you work on research?-

\- 8 years. We began with 3 members but we were successful and soon another collegues joined us. That gave us at the oppotrunity to invest into better equipment.-

\- What about your professorship? How did you become a profesor? Was it influenced by your membership in the research team?- she was clueless about this because none of her relatives were in such position.

\- Partially, yes.- he nodded and explained next: - I had published several articles in mediacal journals and publications. My professorship was proposed by profesor Jatkins. I already had the doctorate and that´s why it went quite fast. I taught microbiology the net 5 years.-

\- Did you enjoyed it? Working with students?-

\- Not always.- he smiled. – I had almost no free time, but it was exciting, mainly the idea that you are part of something bigger and important that might change a lot. All the work in laborathory and teaching sometimes as well.-

\- What was the reason of your leaving, then?- she asked not understanding it. He looked so amazed and excited just speaking about it and she could imagined what it must have been for him. However Richard shrugged his shoulders only, obviously not willing to speak about that particular reason. All the excitment and joy disappeared from his face and she saw the hint of pain in his eyes. That hurt her as well. She could think only about one reason that made him to leave. They remained silent. Only the sounds of another nocturne filled the room. – I am so sorry.- she said at last and stood up. – I didn´t want to.- she repeated sadly and wanted to leave, but his sound of voice made her to stay. He spoke again looking somehow distant. He eyed the fire flames in fireplace.

\- I was engaged.- he started. Her heart almost stopped beating. She was right. A woman was behind it all. – I met Helen at university. In fact our fathers knew each other very well and introduced us. She had beautiful caramel-coloured hair and big green eyes with playful spark.- he smiled unconsciously, which caused Isobel unwelcomed pain. – I asked her to marry me 3 years after I became the professor and she accepted my proposal. It all changed several months before the wedding.- he closed his eyes for a moment before he continued again. - She fell in love with my friend and collegue, so I decided to leave university and Edinburgh despite the disapproval of my family and profesor Jatkins. I came here for a year, then left for Africa and Boer war, and eventually returned here.- he completed his story and sighed. Isobel directed her look into the flames as well. – Did you love her?- she asked almost whispering.

\- I did. I loved her.- he answered. She closed her eyes as well. She had never realized that even he could have loved somebody in the past, just like she loved her husband. She considered it somehow as a mater of fact, that he is alone, just doctor without any bonds and now, naivly, she thought she could change it and be the one, the only one for him. Richard smiled after a while not noticing her sad look.

\- It happened all so long time ago.-

\- Have you ever regreted it?- Isobel asked again.

\- Just the research. We could change many things. Few months after I left, profesor Jatkins died and there was no one with appropriate qualification to run the research. I couldn´t return as well.-

\- And your father?- she could imagine what would have her father done if Mark left in such situation. Richard shrugged his shoulders again. – He understood it, partially of course, but he could never reconcile with the fact I refused to continue with the research. We hadn´t talked together until I returned from the Boer war-

\- I am sorry, again.- she apologized once more. – I had no intention to irritate old wounds.-

\- There´s no need to be sorry, Isobel.- he reasurred her. – Don´t trouble yourself with it. It happened ages ago.- she smiled with sign of relief at last but stood up anyway explaining:

\- I should go and you should rest.- Richard stood up as well and followed her to the hall helping her slip into the coat.

\- I will accompany. It´s too dark outside.- he said and handed for the coat as well but Isobel lifted her brow disapproving. – No way, Richard. I will manage, and you know it. You should rest.-

\- I know.- he nodded. – But be carefull.- this time was Isobel the one who nodded.

\- Good night, Richard.- she said leaving the door.

\- Good night.- he responded. – And good bye, Isobel.-

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She had that beautiful and vivid dream again. Passionate. Full of love. Excitment. Flame. Joy. Happiness. She saw herself in Richard´s arm. Naked. She felt his warmth and inviting fragrance. But then, at the peak of the dream, she woke up and opened her yes just to find out, she is alone again. The unpleasant thoughts crossed her mind again. She saw him young , with the cricket bat in company of beautiful young woman. Helen. Her mind maltreated her. How could she ever thought, he would love her as well as she loved him? Because, yes, she admitted it slowly, she did fall in love with him, maybe much longer ago, than she tought. – You are too old.- her voice whispered her from the distance. – Too old to be loved. Too old to be seen as a woman.- she started to cry silently into the pillow. – He is a doctor and all the things he did were just to help you, as he promised when he became one.- her conscious told her again. – He pitties you only.- the tears were falling down several minutes. They were accompanied by sobs and sighes. Pain. Worry. Pitty. She felt it again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx TBC


	6. Confused

Richard was enjoying the respite from responsibilities in hospital he had been given by the arrival of doctor Chester who took the care of patients instead of him. He had finally the time to read so long-delayed medical journals that Isobel returned him at the beginning of his days off. He skimmed through one of the journals reading hastily several articles that took his attention mostly. They were describing researches and new medicaments, that could be used in Downton Cottage hospital as well. He found several articles about microorganism research, especially moulds, which metabolites had shown surprising effects onto several bacterial species. He put another little notice on the paper that was almost full of similar ones and continued in reading till the end of the journal. Afterwards, he reached for the book, laying on the teatable i front of his armchair. Microbiology. One of his older ones, from the era of his teaching years. As he reached for it, sharp pain in his hip striked him. He sighed and let the book fall down. Isobel was right- he realised- his injuries were more severe that he admitted at first. Standing up slowly, he directed himself towards his office where he kept his medical bag. Another self-treatment followed. The bruises on his abdomen and hip had violet-brown colour and were slowly becoming smaller than originally. Each touch of his fingers hurt and the pain multiplied even more as he tightened the bandags round his chest again. – Damn!- he sighed frowning. It occured to him that all his moves were suddendly grumpy, at least in comparison with Isobel´s gently moves. And there he was again- thinking about her and asking himself why didn´t she come to visit as usually. The second day without any hint of her. He buttoned his shirt wondering what happened. Did he say something offensive or something that might have seem rude? Little smile crossed his lips. That was typical of her- saying something ambigous aloud in the most strange situation possible. As the last time, when she asked him, if she should palapte him out and out. But still, something must have happened and he was trying to figure out, what was it. – It must have been the last visit.- he left his office behind struggling little bit again and then it hit him. The reason of his leaving. The story of his engagement and the long silence that might have caused embarassment on both sides. He stopped in the hall and took phone reciever into his hand. It was ringing for several long-lasting seconds. – The Crawley house.- announced Isobel´s housekeeper. – How can I help?-

\- Good afternoon, Mrs. Williams, doctor Clarkson speaking- he said,- may I speak with Mrs. Crawley?- he asked expecting to hear Isobel´s voice in every minute.

\- Mrs. Crawley isn´t at home, doctor.- she answered. – Shall I give her any message?-

\- No.- Richard said with hint of disappointment in his voice. – That won´t be needful. Thank you.- he ended the call and sighed dialing the hospital number right afterwards.

\- Downton Cottage Hospital.- he heard the voice of doctor Chester.

\- Good afternoon, doctor Chester. That´s me, Clarkson.- he introduced himself as usually. – How are the patients doing? Barrow? Mr. Etkins? Any complications?-

\- Good afternoon, doctor.- he heard from the other side. – Patients´condition are improving. 3 of the flu cases have been discharged, and the rest of them seem to get better every other day. Mr. Dunkar is out of the worst. He hadn´t raised body temperature finnally, but he is still anemic. It seems that Mr. Etkins will have to rest few more days but the pneumonia is under control and his breathing much better. And Mr. Barrow,- he paused for a while taking air into his lungs, - he is still on morphium as the pain is constantly severe. But I am optimistic. You did very good job on the surgery and there have been no internal bleedings or any other signs of everlasting harm on his internal organs.- he explained.

\- Everything is alright, then.- Richard reasurred himself. Doctor Chester nodded approvingly.

\- Absolutely.-

\- Do you need any help or assistance? Do you manage everything?- Richard wanted to know and listened carefully. Doctor Chester smiled.

\- I do manage everything, and even if I didn´t,- he lowered his voice once more, - I wouldn´t ask you for help, doctor Clarkson. Don´t understand me wrong, doctor, - he explained immediately because he heard that Richard was trying to oppose, - but I must admit that I am afraid of Mrs. Crawley more and she ordered me not to bother you or accept your help if needed.-

\- Alright.- Richard said relieved and grinned as well. – I won´t bother you much longer, but I have one more question.- he silenced himself for a moment. – Was Mrs. Crawley in hospital today or yesterday?-

\- Of course.- doctor Chester answered immediately. – She controls my work every day.- he sighed not very happily.

\- Thank you. Good bye, then.- Richard said and ended the call. He rturned to the living room and seated himself into his armchair picking up the fallen book carefully. – It seems that she is avoiding me.- he said aloud. – How would it be possible that she has time for hospital visits and can´t stop by my house.- he frowned and took the latest volume of medical journal into his hands to distract himself from unpleasant ideas that crossed his mind. His eyes scanned the first page. – The progress of modern medicine- was written with large letters on the top of the page and underneath was short content with articles divided into several categories. As his eyes reached the gynecology section his mood changed immediately. It was written in black and white. – The water birth.- and underneath the name of the author: - Isobel Crawley,- with a little bonus after her name, - M.D.- Another articles describing similar cases of water birth in different european countries followed, but none of them was so long and complex as the Isobel´s one. Feeling of pride widened hid cheeks and he smiled. He was proud and not only because the Downton Cottage hospital had been mentioned there, but foremost because of Isobel and her achievment. He hoped that the article would make her feel the same way. Suddendly, he looked at the clock and crazy idea hit his mind. In the next moment, he sat behind his table and was writing a letter. He wanted to announce her the wonderful news as soon as possible, but he still had no certainity that she would be at home. Leaving his house with the journal containing letter, serving as a remark, he hurried through the cold evening to the Crawley house. The chilly air reminded him of scottish evenings, which he missed the most. He passed the little shops that were closed and greeted the old baker returning home from the tap-room. After few more minutes he reached Isobel´s house but just one sight told him, that she wouldn´t be at home with the highest probability. Nevertheless he rang the doorbell and soon after heard approaching steps that weren´t Isobel´s. The housekeeper opened the door and startled looked at doctor Clarkson. Richard greeted her and before she could answer handed her the journal: - May I ask you to give this journal Mrs. Crawley when she returns?-

\- Of course.- said the housekeeper becoming herself again. Richard nodded with satisfied smile and left again.

\- Would you bring me a cup of tea into my office, Mrs. Williams?- Isobel asked as soon as she came home and closed the door behind.

\- Of course, Mrs. Crawley. Shall I bring you anything else?- asked the housekeeper but Isobel only shook her head and thankfully smiled. Her office was much warmer than the hall and that´s why she stopped by the fireplace to warm up herself. She was unteachable, somehow always forgetting that the winter was much nearer than the early days of autumn and still wore the autumn coat. She unbuttoned it and dressed in simple black evening gown seated herself behind the table full of papers and books as well. The evening with the family was long one and exhausting as well, even more than the time she spent in hospital that day. Everybody was curious and wanted to know something about Barrow and thw incident that cost him almost his life. They wanted to heat the details she wasn´t able to describe so well as they wished. And then, there was cousin Violet. She eyed her carefully, especially when she talked about doctor Clarkson. She had many questions after the dinner as well and all about him. Isobel had the feeling that Violet must have noiced something that gawe away her feelings. But doubted it at the same time. She hadn´t seen him in two long days and truly missed him. All the things she learned about him that evening, and especially the fact that he had been engaged, confused her so much that she wasn´t sure if she would be able to see him like before. Her dreams and phantasies, which didn´t want to leave her made it even worse. Everything changed and she confabulated herself, that she didn´t know him at all. Isobel was startled when she heard the knock on the door followed by Mrs. Williams entering the room with tray of hot tea.

\- Do you wish anything else, Mrs. Crawley?- she asked poring the tea into cup.

\- No. Thank you. That will be all, Mrs. Williams.- Isobel shook her head trying to smile. – You can go home.-

Mrs. Williams nodded and said at last: - Doctor Clakson was trying to reach you this afternoon and telephoned.-

\- Did he?- she said with surprise. – What was it about?-

\- I don´t know. He didn´t left any notice. But later this afternoon, 10 or 15 minutes before your arrival, he stopped here and asked me to give you a certain magazine.-

\- He was there?- Isobel asked for certainity looking surprised and Mrs. Williams only nodded. – And he didn´t say anything, am I right?-

\- You are. Shall I bring that magazine?- Mrs. Williams asked wanting to end it. Isobel nodded.

Hot water was running down her body and she was thinking again. What did he want? Why didn´t he left any notice or instructions what should she do with that magazine? She skimmed through firts pages but couldn´t see anything interesting or underlined. Why didn´t he say anything? She sighed again and dressed up into night gown as fast as possible. She wasn´t able to look at herself anymore. It only frustrated her. Leaving the bathroom she laid down into her cold bed. Her eyes rested on the cover page of the latest medical journal laying on the empty half of king-sized bed. Sarcastic smirk escaped her throat. It all seemed so paradox and tragical at the same time. According to her own imagination, she would be much pleased if that space was occupied by the owner of the journal. She sighed again and taking the latest volume into hands again, she noticed that something almost slipped out of it . Surprised even more, she opened the journal at the very page the white paper was marking, and looked at it. A letter. He wrote her something. But then, her attention was taken by the article title. – The waterbirth.- She scanned it hastily recognizing her own words and her eyes widened even more. She had to gasp for air as she reached the end of her own article and saw her name below. – Isobel Crawley, M.D.- was written down there and underlined twice. She had to smile. Happily this time. Relieved. Isobel continued in reading another articles about the same topic but her was the largest one. The memories of that case flashed through her mind. It had seemed then, that they would argue and wouldn´t reach any progress, but he surpised her and retreated at last. She was in charge that time and he assisted her following her orders, which scared her at first. She ended the last article and took the letter again.

 _Dear Isobel,_

 _I tried to reach you this afternoon, but as that was not possible,_

 _I am writing you this letter to announce you this wonderfull news as soon as possible._

 _Let me congratulate you to the published article in such range with finally appropriate_

 _title. I hope that this makes you as proud and glad as it made me. I remember that the last_

 _time you weren´t very fond of the idea having your article published, but I believe, that this_

 _changes your mind. This theme might be great to discuss in the near future._

 _I would like to apologize for the last evening as well. It wasn´t appropriate of me to behave like_

 _that and let it go that far. I hope it can be forgiven and forgotten as well._

 _I don´t want to spoil your, I believe, good evening and that´s why I am writing last words. I don´t know when this letter will reach you, but I believe it is evening so far, and that´s why let me wish you good night._

 _Yours sincerely_

 _Richard Clarkson_

She was truly pleased by his letter. The feeling of warmth filled her body again and she smiled, reading the letter again and again. _Let me wish you good night-_ she almost heard him saying it aloud and wished to hear it actually from his lips in close whisper. She turned off the light placing the journal on the bedtable as well and closed her eyes. Sleep still wasn´t coming and her mind was working too much. Partially happy, partially worried. Confused and full of questions. The feelings overwhelming her were new and unknown. She ever felt something similar. Not even once. It wasn´t the same she experienced with Reginald when she was young. That was sudden and didn´t last long enough. Even her acquaintanceship with Richard lasted longer and had completely different development. Richard was different and devoted her more of his time, which could be partially explained by the fact that they worked together and he wasn´t in need to build his career. The love she felt towards Reginald was pure and childish somehow, but that what she felt towards Richard was something else. It was mature, confusing and adventurous. She lusted after him imagining for the first time in her life lovemaking. After so many years, that she was surprised, she could still picture it so detailed. She was more daring, or her mind in fact. She felt suddedn hot flushes and shivered. It confused her. Everything was so scary and exciting at the same time. Everything. So much that she felt headache again. So much that it was exhausting her completely and still she wasn´t able to fall asleep.

\- When are you leaving?- she asked him at the end of the patient´s visitation.

\- Tomorrow morning, after the arrival of doctor Clarkson. We have already aranged everything.- doctor Chester informed her. Isobel frowned a bit.

\- If you have,- she said not very please. – Then there is only one thing I can say. Thank you doctor Chester for your help.- she smiled and shook his hand.

\- You´re welcome.- he answered relieved and then remembered something, just in the moment Isobel opened the door of Richard´s office. – Mrs. Crawley?- he adressed her catching her attention. – You and doctor Clarkson have recieved a mail today. I left it on doctor´s table.- he informed her.

\- Have we?- she sounded surprised, but doctor Chester only nodded and pointed at the table.

\- Thank you, once more, doctor.- she said and closed the door behind. On the table, aside from the stack of papers, lied one white envelope. Isobel took it into her hands and looked for the second one, but without success. – He had to be mistaken.- she said when unable to find another envelope but read the address nevertheless. – Dr. and Mrs. Clarkson.- was written at the top. At least for the third time of that day, she gloomed. – Mrs. Clarskon?- she thought. – Another of his secrets?- she sighed. – And why did doctor thought it was addressed me?- She scanned the the envelope. There was the address of hospital and the address of sender as well: The Royal Medical Society. – Strange.- she whispered. – Very strange.- This made her believe even more that she didn´t know him at all. She took her coat and the envelope and hurried to get the answers for the questions not allowing her to sleep properly. When she reached his door however, nobody was answering the doorbell or her knocking and that made her angry and desperate even more. She threw the envelope into the mail box and left. Her steps were hastily as if she wanted to leave his house from sight as fast as possible. She breathed heavily as she hurried and slowed down only when she reached the crossroad. She almost cried. – What should I believe?- she asked herself. – Who is this Mrs. Clarkson? Why didn´t he tell me anything?- she felt miserable again. Confusion in her mind increased with every other thought. Not knowing how, she reached the little village park. It seemed that she was the only visitor even though it was beautiful sunny day. She sat down on the park bench and focused on the never changing lake surface. He should have told her the entire truth! He should have told her he was a married man!- her mind was shouting. That uncertainity tortured her and she almost started to cry, but then, she closed her eyes and shooke her head. – That´s enough!- she whispered.

\- Are you alright, Isobel?- asked a distant voice of a person standing few steps away and she startled opening her eyes.

\- Isobel?- Richard repeated her name, this time with concern in his voice and closed the distance separating them. – Richard.- she said without any hint of feeling or emotion that would reveal what happened and looked somewhere else. He sighed.

\- What happened?- he managd to ask, but she only shrugged her shoulders. – May I?- he pointed to the empty place on bench. She nodded but still looked at the lake surface. Richard watched her silently for a while but then with sign of resignation startef to talk. Silently and sadly. – I truly hoped, that your article in medical journal would please you and that you would forgive me that bloody evening.- he glanced her again but she looked distant. She remained silent.

\- I should have never told you about Helen. I am sorry.- he apologized once more.

\- It´s not about that article or that evening.- she said at last with resignation.

\- And what is it about?- he wanted to know looking directly into her eyes that finally reached his.

\- I was in the hospital. You have recieved a letter.- she explained as if that should reveal him the reason of her mood.

\- A letter? Now I am confused even more.- he admitted.

\- Yes. A letter. Doctor Chester told me that there was letter for me and you. But the mail was addressed you.- she said with smirk. – You and Mrs. Clarkson.-

\- What?!- he frowned shocked if he heard right.

\- You should have told me!- she confronted him.

\- Told you what exactly?- he didn´t still understand.

\- You should have told me you are married!- she said with anger and stood up to leave. Richard, taken aback by her rection, reached for her hand and stopped her.

\- I am not married, Isobel.- he opposed. – I should have known something about it, shouldn´t I?-

She gave him look of defiance and he would smile if the situation wasn´t that serious.

\- Do you really think, that I am such kind of man? Do you really think that I wouldn´t tell you? Do you really think so, Isobel?- he was asking without anger.

\- What should I thought?- shesaid knowing that he is right. – What should I think about everything else? I don´t even know what happened during the last few months. So many things have changed and I don´t know what or whom to believe!- she said impetously and looked away. He took her hand into his once more forcing her by it to look at him.

\- Past isn´t important for me.- he assured her calmy, - It doesn´t mean that you don´t know who I am just because you didn´t know about my engagement or life before Downton. People don´t change that drastically from one day to another, and you know it. And if you really don´t know whom to trust, try to believe at least in your own judgement- he sighed and looked in the distance, still holding her hand securely. – The address on the envelope will have logical explanation. Who was the sender, anyway?- he asked right afterwards.

\- The Royal Medical Society.- she answerd, shook head again and stood up. His grip relaxed, he let her go, but gaze at her surprised. – I am sorry.- she told ashamed and wanted to leave. Richard stood up too.

\- Not this way!- he said purposefully. – We should figure out the whole truth, don´t you think so? I suppose, that the letter is in my house now, am I right?-

\- Yes.- she nodded amazed by his tone of voice.

\- Great. We will resolve it with cup of tea.-

Isobel sat at her usual place tensely. In front of her was cup of tea, she didn´t touch but hypnotised with her look. Richard, on the other hand, opened the envelope that caused so much pain extracting several lists of paper and started to read the one on the top. After several seconds he started to laugh. Those letters were really addressed to him and Isobel. Isobel gave him quick look. She didn´t think it appropriate when she felt so miserable that she wanted to run away and not showing herself in his house for a very long time.

\- I am sorry.- he apologized and handed her few letters addressed to her name. – But I think doctor Chester was right. The mystery of Mrs. Clarkson, if we want to call it like that, seems to be solved then.-

Isobel accepted those letters and started to read simultaneously.

 _Dear Mrs. Crawley, dear doctor Clarkson,_

 _we want to thank you for your contributions, you shared by this way with your collegues._

 _Both of your articles recorded huge amount of success even though we published them just_

 _this year, almost two years after we recieved them. I hope that our cooperation will continue_

 _and we will recieve another interesting publications in the near future._

 _With best wishes_

 _Gregory Stinson, M.D._

 _P.S.: I want to apologize for not sending these letters to your home addresses, but_

 _we had only the address of your hospital._

\- So?- he began after several minutes when she was reading the last letter addressed to her name. Isobel swallowed and smiled with look of guilty.

\- I am truly sorry.- she apologized once more.

\- I didn´t mean tha,- he answered and grinned puckishly lowering his voice, - Mrs. Clarkson.-

Isobel´s eyes widened at first but when she recognized that smile, she started to grinn as well.

\- For some illogical reason, - she started, - I have been invited to the annual medical conferrence in London in 3 weeks time.- she informed him with relief he isn´t mad at her. – And you?-

\- The same. Beginning on the 22nd of november.- he read from the letter in his hand.

\- And?- she continued little bit uncertain if she dare to ask. After all, not that long time ago, she accused him of being married and according to all with her.-

\- You mean, if I will go?- he asked for certainity. Isobel nodded.

\- I don´t know. I haven´t attended the last conferrences but this time,- he handed her one of his letters, - they want me to have one of the lectures. To be more concrete, the lecture on lung diseases. And what about you?-

\- Me?- she asked with sarcastic smirk. – I am not a doctor. I would be redundant and laughable. But you should accept it.-

\- I don´t think you would be laughable, Isobel. Women doctors are not that rare anymore.- he disgreed.

\- Maybe they aren´t, she nodded, - but I am no tone of them.-

\- The title is not important.- he raised his eyebrows.

\- Maybe not for you, but the others might have different opinion.-

\- If you think so,- he said unconcernedly. – But if you won´t attend it, neither will I just like the few last years.- he reached for the tea cup and sipped it through his lips.

\- You have to go!- she disagreed this time stridently. She was stubborn again.

\- Well done then.- he commented and read following instructions, - we shall leave the day before so we won´t come late for the initiation of conferrence. The answer needs to be sent till the end of the following week with information if we attend only the 3rd day or the whole conferrence and all the lectures.-

\- But I can´t go.- Isobel protested forcing him to look at her again. – They had to make a huge mistake in redaction when publishing my article with the title M.D. Of course if you haven´t written it down that way. It won´t be appropriate to misuse it!-

\- I haven´t added that title after your name, even though I am completely determined with it.- he reassured her, but continued: - And anyway, I think that you owe it to me.-

\- Oh. And I will pay off the debt with this and you will forget it?- she asked suspiciously but with hope in voice.

\- Yes.- he agreed grimmingly. – So what do you think about your article being published?-

\- I have to admit that it pleased me more than I thought it would. I would never thought that they will publish something from unqualified woman.-

\- Unqualified? Don´t you ever say that again about yourself.- he frowned disapproving.

\- Without medical title?- she tried. – Does it sound better?-

\- Little bit.- he answered but nodded.

\- It was great feeling to see my name below the article. Thank you for sending me that medical journal so quickly.-

\- I just wanted to share that wonderful news and apologize for some things, that needs to be explained.-

\- I should apologize, not you, Richard!- Isobel interrupted him. – I was too curious once again and it was awesome evening, if not speaking about the last part of it that was completely my mistake.-

\- And it could be even bette if not my inappropriate reaction.- he sighed openly. – I had never spoken about my past with anyone in the village, because no one was interested and I had no need to speak about it anyway.-

\- Just like me.- she almost whispered. – I still can´t speak about Matthew. Not with them.- she understood.

\- Is it better?- he asked when the silence lasted longer then several seconds.

\- It is, thanks to you.- she smiled. – And what about you?-

\- What you mean?- he wasn´t quite sure what she meant again.

\- Your injuries.- she answered immediately.

\- Much better, thank you. Bruises almost disappeared.-

\- And the second thing?- she said little bit uncertain if that wasn´t too much again. But Richard seemed to be relaxed and still smiling.

\- That´s over a very long time, Isobel. And I am not lying or lessening the seriousness of it.- he reasurred her remembering her questioning tactics from few days ago when she examined him.

\- You won´t forget that, will you?- she asked with hint of smile.

\- No. I don´t think so.- he nodded thinking about it little bit longer. – Certainly not.-

 _Hello again! I am sorry for the long pause between these last chapters but I had almost no time sooner :D I hope you will enjoy this chapter. It might seem crazy, I know and maybe you won´t like it that much but I needed to show Isobel´s confusion and distraction little bit more. She had been a lot through that could be confusing. Also by this, bot of them somehow admitted that they care for each other more than just friends, even though, they didn´t admitt it to each other so far. Let me please know what you think of it and sorry for some gramatical or language mistakes that might be present :D. Also sorry for such long chapters but I am always too phylosophical, trying to analyze the feelings and emotions of mybeloved characters :D_


	7. The joyfull afternoon

\- And the rest of the family?- Isobel asked sitting comfortably on the couch. Cora shrugged her shoulders taking a cup of tea into her hands.

\- Tom and Mary are outside, managing the property. I believe that they are now at the Grinsons farm and Edith is in London again.- she answered and looked at the door that opened in that exact moment.

\- Doctor Clakson.- she smiled inviting him inside the room. – Isobel has told me everything about Barrow yet, but I want to ask you if there is anything we could do to help even more, anyway.-

\- There will be no need, mylady.- Richard answered with polite smile and explained: – Barrow is a young man with good health and his injuries are healing very well. I think that in 2 weeks time he will be allright and able to serve again.-

\- I am glad to hear it.- Cora nodded. – May I offer you a cup of tea?- she asked glancing at the teapot. Isobel eyed him with questioing look as well. Richard, anyway, looked at the tower clock standing in the corner at first and then nodded. – I can afford one cup.- he smiled and seated himself on the couch, next to Isobel. Afterwards, Cora surprisingly took the teapot and poured another cup of tea shocking Carson and her guests as well. She handed it to the doctor and with smile asked:

\- I have heard that you are going to London for several days.-

\- Yes. We are attending medical confference.- Richard nodded and sipped from the tea.

\- I am glad that Isobel is going with you.- she eyed her for a moment and then him as well. – It is sometimes needful, to change the surrounding and free yourself from the dayly routine, isn´t it?-

\- Of course.- Richard agreed. – But I don´t know if Isobel mentioned that she had been invited recieving formal invitation as well.-

\- Really?- Cora exclaimed surprised and stared at Isobel, whose cheeks turned little bit red.

\- Maybe I have forgotten to mention it before.- she admitted shrugging her shoulders. Richard grinned for a second when she gave him another look. Cora continued in questioning both of them in fact.

\- I don´t understand that.- she started. – I have thought that only medical doctors are invited for similar confferences and they can invite someone as a companion, like in your case.- that really confused her. She assumed that this was the sign that they are not just friends, which was pretty obvious for everyone around, except for Robert, of course.

\- Believe me Cora,- Isobel smiled, - I have been taken aback as well.- Richard grinned again remembering that day and all the crazy events that made it unforgettable. – But in fact, Richard is responsible for this surprise.- she looked at him and then focused on Cora soon afterwards.

\- I am lost completely now.- Cora admitted truthfully frowning little bit. - Is there any possibility to explain it little bit more?-

\- Some time ago,- Isobel nodded.- Richard had sent several thematic articles to the redaction office of medical journal as he had been asked and they published two of them, one was mine.- she explained but Richard had the feeling that it needed to be clarified little bit more and continued.

\- That article was a huge success that impressed the whole redaction and according to my decent opinion, they wanted to get to know the author personally and invited you, Isobel, for the medical confference.-

\- That´s fantastic.- Cora said pleased. – I don´t understand why haven´t you told us about this before.-

\- I didn´t think you would be interested.- Isobel admitted.

The conversation was going on in more pleasant and released atmosphere. Cora questioned them, wanting to know more about the article content Isobel had written and later on, she listened with interest, Isobel´s description of Richard´s article. He was finally forced by these two curious women to reveal something more about his research in past. Some of the witty stories he mentioned were new to Isobel as well. They had to laugh from time to time and Cora eyed Isobel with relief and satisfaction that she smiled again. Not even the looks of admiration that Richard was paying Isobel escaped her eyes and that satisfied her even more.

Richard was informing Cora about the hospital condition when a knock interrupted them.

\- I am sorry to interrupt.- said the nanny opening the door with kids after seeing that the room is occupied by adults. But Cora smiled.

\- There´s no need to, Tinker. You can leave the kinds here and take a break for a while.-

Little Sybie grinned puckishly and run directly to her grandmother when hearing approval not seeing people on the couch .

\- I take George.- said Isobel reaching for the little boy with big blue eyes. Sybie seated herself on the knees of Cora and only then she noticed Isobel with George in her arms sitting next to Richard.

\- Richie!- she exclaimed surprised and pleased at the same time, climbing from the knees of her grandmother again and reaching him.

\- Sybie.- he said and looked at Cora if she approves, but she was already grinning like Isobel that sat next to him. George was smiling as well eying his cousin and idol sitting almost next to him.

\- I have heard rumours, that you are healing here again. Is it right?- the little miss asked Richard with sparkle in her eyes.

\- That´s right.- he nodded. Sybie kneeled down in order to look higher, put her little hand on Richard´s arm to stabilize herself and with serious look continued: - I wanted to help you, like the last time. Why didn´t you call me?- Cora had to laugh which earned her a look of reproach from her grandaughter. Richard looked serious as well. – I have called for you, but you were outside, on walk.- he explained. – Isobel had to help me instead.-

\- That´s true, sweetie.- said Cora trying to hide her smile and Isobel nodded as well.

\- Alright Richie, but the next time, wait for me! I might have found new cure for baccilli.-

\- Really?- he played with her not looking that shocked as Cora, that hadn´t heard her grandaughter to speak like that before. She didn´t listen to their next talk, though, because Carson interrupted her with notice.

\- Yes! I have tried it on George.- the little girl continued and caught George´s attention again. Cora stood up and announced them: - Will you excuse me for a moment? An urgent call.- she explained and left. Richard gazed at the girl again, little bit worried as well as Isobel that directly asked.

\- What have you tried, Sybie?- And Sybie started to explain again but this time climbed onto Richard´s knees so she could demonstrate everything on her little patient.

\- Few days ago, George started to cry and children cry when their tummy hurts, don´t they Richie?- she addressed him but didn´t wait for an answer. – Tummy hurts only if full of bacilli and that´s why I´ve decided to help him, as there was no nanny. I gave him one cookie. So big and then he stopped.- she smiled at her cousin. – And then I did this.- she demonstrated and tickled George, who laughed happily. – George is very good patient.- she added. Richard and Isobel sighed with relief.

\- Such method of cure sounds very interesting, doesn´t it, Richie?- Isobel observed with witty smile this time and looked at the children that started to play.

\- You are having great fun, am I right?- he noted.

\- Indeed, you are.- she nodded and Richard shook his head but smiled- she looked gorgeous when smiling. – That shortcut is just perfect for you.-

\- I see. But I am curious why didn´t Sybie create any shortcut of your name. There would be so many possibilities, I am sure.- this time was the joyful sparkle in his ocean-blue eyes. Sybie, when hearing her name, turned to face Richard again.

\- Have you said anything, Richie?- she asked and Isobel, seeing his look, only widened her eyes.

\- Yes.- his look was provocative now and directed to the woman sitting next to him. – I was only curious if you created any shortcut for,-

\- Richard!- Isobel addressed him but he continued not paying her attention with triumphal face expression.

\- for George.- he added.

\- Of course.- Sybie added and looked at George calling him by the name she gave him: - Bunnie!- George´s attention sharpenned and he stopped to play with Isobel´s necklace.

\- Sybie!- came out of his lips markedly but still somehow jabbering.

\- That´s his first word!- Isobel exclaimed surprised. – Have you heard it as well?- she asked Richard for certainity.

\- I did.- he nodded

\- Has he ever called you like that before, Sybie?- Isobel asked and the little girl grinned with nod.

\- He always says my name when I call him like that.- she explained as if it was the most common thing.

\- Bunnie!- addressed him Isobel this time and George answered. – Sybie!- pointing at her.

\- I told you so.- Sybie added. George started to reach his hands for Sybie. - I think that this little boy wants to join me and Richie.-

\- Oh.- Isobel observed the obvious as well. – Would you mind?- she asked Richard kowing it was useless.

\- No. Anyway, I have no choice, have I?- he asked the girl on his knees that shook her head puckishly again and managed to take George from Isobel´s hands as well. – I have become a comfortable settee for children as it seems.- he grinned and tickled the little princess.

\- Richie.- she exclaimed and started to tickle him as well. George joined her in a minute. Richard had to smile even though he wasn´t ticklish and Isobel did the same. Sybie finnally stood up to reach higher and embraced Richard around the neck, which shocked him in fact. George, always repeating everything after his great idol Sybie, tried to stood up grabbing Richard´s hem of shirt. This sudden movement caught Isobel´s attention and she moved her hand on the small of his back to stabilize him in the same moment as Richard. Together, with untypical smiles on their lips, they helped George to stand up so he could embrace Richard as well. George whooped happily so everybody had to laugh.

\- Isn´t he funny?- Sybie asked giving look to the two adults that still stabilized her cousin with their fingers almost entangled. They nodded breaking their well-knowing looks and Sybie started telling them another stories. Only Richard listened carefully though. Isobel stared at Richard, who really seemed to be concentrated when listening to Sybil´s explanations. George meanwhile played with his bowtie. It was wonderful look. At Sybie so pleased that someone gave her full attention, at George who looked exactly like Matthew at his age, at Richard who seemed so natural with the kids obviously enjoying every word or movement they did. He stroked her hand again, that lied under his one on George´s back and she smiled because now she felt that their relationship was really becoming something more than just a friendship.

\- You know, - she started all at once, - you look like an undeniable grandfather now.-

\- Do I?- he reacted with smile but looked at one of the kids instead.

\- Really.- she nodded, - you are paying them even more attention than me right now.- George started babbling again and so they looked at him awaiting that he will say something again, but he only babbled waving with Richard´s bowtie, which he managed to untie somehow. Richard glanced Isobel once more carressing the back of her hand. She returned him the look but they were interrupted by Cora that returned. Richard slowly released Isobel´s hand.

\- I hope, that they hadn´t exhausted you completely.- she marked when seeing the four of them on couch.

\- No. Not at all- Richard smiled back. – I am only surprised that they still seem to have enough energy.-

 _I hope you enjoyed this ´shorter´ chapter :D I always missed similar scenes in the show where we would see Isobel with her grandson...and I absolutely love little Sybil...next chapter will concern finally the conferrence..._


	8. The first evening in London

_Hello again :D Another chapter that leads us finally somewhere else... Richie and Isobel are arriving to London where nobody knows them. They are finally free to do whatever they want...There will be several chapters concerning the medical conferrence, each one day, as so many things happen! I hope you will enjoy this as well, even though it might look little bit boring..._

 _P.S.: thank you for your reviews! It is wonderful feeling to have feedback, knowing what the others think about my story :D_

Doctor Chester finally arrived and parked the car, Richard bought just three days before, in front of his house. – May I take your suitcase?- he asked after ringing the doorbell and greeting his older collegue. Richard nodded and put on his coat. He grabbed his hat and then something hit him. He had forgotten something, as he realized just in that particular moment. Hurrying himself, he reached his bedroom and opening the drawer of his bedtable, he pulled out of it small black box. He sighed with relief, took it putting the box into the coat pocket and locked the house.

Isobel dressed herself into comfortable travel suit with bluish accent and looked into the wardrobe one more time. Her look was captured by greyish-blue long robe, she almost forgot to have owned. She pulled it out of the wardrobe and sighed looking once at it and then at the packed suitcase next to her bed. Quick decision had been made and right after she reorganised everything inside her suitcase, ringing of the doorbell reminded her of the time. – Oh no.- she realised with surprise that Richard finnally arrived. She hastled down the stairs and opened the door with blush in her cheeks.

\- Ready?- he asked after greeting her little bit unsure when hearing her fastened breathing.

\- Ready. But I am afraid that the suitcase is still upstairs.- she answered inviting him to the house.

\- Don´t tell me that you wanted to carry it down all by yourself, Isobel?- he frowned a little. Isobel only shrugged her shoulders answering:

\- I did.- He shook his head.

\- May I take care of it now?- Isobel smiled with relief and nodded leading him to her bedroom, even though he knew the way as well. He lifted the suicase that wasn´t the smallest or lightest one at all and eyed her with hint of question in his eyes.

\- Gowns and dresses take more space than suits or smokings.- she explained when seeing his look and wanted to take her hand luggage, but Richard frowned again.

\- Isobel!- he shook his head. – What would I look like in doctor Chester´s eyes if I let you carry this!- he reached out his hand and smiled amused when seeing her face expression.

\- May I take at least my handbag?- she asked with hint of irony but then smiled as well.

\- Of course.- Richard nodded and stepped into the corridor carrying her heavy luggage into the car. Isobel followed soon afterwards, locked the front door and headed towards Richard´s new car. She greeted doctor Chester and got in the car.

\- Do you have everything?- Richard asked her when seated himself next to her. Isobel nodded.

\- And you?-

\- I do. Fortunatelly.- he answered and gave sign to doctor Chester to finally leave.

\- When was the last time you attended the medival confference?- she asked him, thinking about this particular question for longer time, when sitting in the train few minutes before its departure.

\- Before the war, in 1913. – he answered. – There was no time afterwards.- Isobel nodded realizing that she occupied him with all the crazy projects she started in their hospital and thus probably being the reason of his absence of free time. She sighed and looked into the window just in the moment the train started to move forward. Richard suspected what ideas and thoughts caused that sigh and took her hand into his whispering: - I don´t regret it. Not a single minute.- he reasurred her and she glanced him again with smile and gentle squeeze.

Isobel adjusted her hair and used her favourite parfume. Dressed in violet suit, she reached the big window of her room and spred out the heavy curtains looking at the streets of London in early night. They were lightened by many electrical lamps and glancing windows of fashion boutiques. After so many years of living in Downton, she almost forgot what does such city look like in evening hours. She watched the small figures of people walking too fast almost paying no attention to the rest of the world and huge amount of black taxi cars that stopped every now and then in front of the hotel. Well dressed gentlemen and ladies stepped out of them and she wondered how many of them were doctors arriving because of the following confference. She speculated how many of them were Richard´s aquitances even though he couldn´t say if his old collegues and friends from Edinburgh would arrive as well. She knew only one thing for sure. Her brother wasn´t coming at all as he explained her the last time she telephoned him, not mentioning him that the young man defeating him those many years ago was her Richard. She had to smile again when picturing young Richard in her mind with perfect strike and firm buttocks. This thought caused her cheeks to blush again and she bit her bottom lip. She startled little bit when she heard the knock on the door. – Ready?- he asked with smile as soon as she opened the door. Isobel nodded. – Ready.- she answered and closed the door behind. He wasn´t able to stop stare at her. When she opened the door, he noticed slight blush in her cheeks, even though he wasn´t sure if not only imagining it. In any case, the color of her cheeks made her look much healthier than a month before. Her big, hazel-brown eyes were glamourized again with sparkle of joy and he had the feeling, that she shined anew thanks to them. – You look stunningly, Isobel.- he told her amazed when they stopped in front of the elevator. The dress suited her well, slightly liningher figure emphasizing her hips when walking and slim arms which were covered only by short sleeves.

\- Thank you.- she said blushing again and stepped into the elevator followed closely by him.

\- Are you recognizing any familiar faces?- she asked him with interest as they passed the reception full of people waiting to book in.

\- I don´t know. Maybe, but I am not sure.- he responded, but in fact didn´t pay his attention to the faces of strangers in the hotel hall. Not in that evening.

\- Possibly your collegues.- she remarked shrugging her shoulders not taking notice of the reception hall anymore. – We are lucky to accomodate sooner.-

\- We are.- he admitted. - If I only imagine to postpone the dinner several minutes later.- he shook his head with look explaining everything else. Isobel smiled with nodd and remarked likewise.

– I hope as well that the hotel restaurant won´t be so overpopulated like the reception. I don´t want to wait any longer as well.- Since the late lunch, she didn´t eat anything and had suspicion that Richard hadn´t eat properly at all. She glanced him anew, as if she could find out if she was right or no, and catched his waggish smile, that was appearing on his face more frequently in the recent time.

\- I reserved a table to insure it.- he explained and asked the waitress at the pult to show them their table.

\- You never let anything on coincidence, do you?-

They continued to talk while eating grilled salmon Richard ordered, but this time, it was his turn. He spoke about his first months and years at Downton cottage hospital and conflicts with the dowager countess that followed soon after.

\- You wouldn´t believe how hard it was to explain her the importance and need of two separate storage rooms for drugs, anaesthetics and disinfection as well as a storage place for all the tools, mainly surgical, of non-chemical nature.- he smiled with nostalgy in his ocean-blue eyes. - She followed the advices of superintendants of other similar institutions and you shoould have seen her face as I insisted on the pre-surgical room.- Isobel watched him with amused smile, vividly imagining Violet´s sharp look. - She almsot threw me out of the room. She couldn´t understand why should our newly-build hospital have something that was lacking in hospitals in Thirsk or Edenbask.-

\- And how did you manage to persuade her finally?- she asked with interest because their hospital posessed all the rooms, Richard was speaking about. Another waggish sparkle appeared in his eyes.

\- I got around her and informed directly the architect about all the changes that needed to be done on the original building plan. We divided one bigger room, serving for patient´s accomodation at first, into 2 storage rooms and the original repository was and still is used as the pre-surgical room.-

\- Did she later find it out ?- she wanted to know still shocked that he risked so much his position when disobeying orders of Lady Violet. Richard shrugged his shoulders and answered innocently.

\- Lets say she didn´t. Not in the first ten years, to be more concrete.-

\- And then?- the curiosity on her face was so obvious.

\- She was proud that our hospital had something that the hospitals of Thirsk and Edenbask lacked and had to add by rebuilding later on.- that was something she could imagine easily. A proud picture of cousin Violet appeared in her mind.

\- I don´t suppose that she admitted her mistake afterwards.- she commented and smiled again, but surprisingly Richard shook his head a little.

\- Well, she didn´t completely admit it, but instead, she gave the hospital new microscopes and it was simpler to persuade her about something important in the following years.- that evening discovered Isobel many new details of his life in Downton before her arrival. They talked about the hospital and his work mostly, but some stories concerned the family as well. After eating the dessert they movedto the lounge room, where Richard recognized several familiar faces of his collegues and old friends. He greeted them and introduced Isobel as his friend and collegue. Nobody leddifficult conversations that evening. Not all the members of medical society were present thereand majority of the present men only grouped by 3 or 4 and enjoyed little talks.

\- Is it like this always?- she asked suddendly when they found an empty table in the corner of the room.

\- What exactly.- Richard wanted to know little bit confused. – Do you mean similar session before the official start of confference, or?- Isobel shook her head and specified:

\- I meant the missing presence of women.-

\- Mostly.- Richard admitted. – The lectures and discussion are attended only by the doctors according to whose statements,their wives enjoy shopping or come only to the ball.-

\- That´s a pity.- Isobel remarked. – They miss the most interesting part.-

\- Not every woman is interested in the science and medicine just like you, which is the real loss.- that was logical as she realised.

\- So it is possible that there won´t be many of us, women.- she commented with sigh.

\- Honestly,- he nodded, - I wouldn´t be surprised if you were the only one there.-

\- The only one?- she frowned but then smiled provocatively. – That might be an advantage.-

\- What for advantage?- he played placing stern expression on his place which caused outbreak of laugh that caught attention of some of the men. – You know what I mean. You always do.- she denied to answer giggling. Richard´s brow quirked in amusement and pouting his lips slightly, he noted with all esteem: - I can´t take amiss anybody if paying attention to you instead of the lecturer.-Isobel giggled blushing slightly and finally shook her head.

\- Lets hope that the lectures will be interesting and I will remain unnoticed.- she sighed a little, feeling the first signs of exhaustion. That didn´t remain unnoticed and Richard feeling the same said at last:

\- We should go, shouldn´t we?- Isobel nodded with relief and they left the company of older men that greeted them once more. – Returning back to our talk,- Richard continued when they passed through the hotel hall again to the elevator, - such beautiful woman like you, Isobel, cannot simply remain unseen.- he said with admiration looking directly into her eyes. Isobel blushed again, but didn´t mind this time. She simply smiled and caressed the back of his hand. Elevator door opened and they stepped in together, followed by younger couple. Silently, with smiles on their faces, they glanced each other every now and then until they reached the 3rd floor. A moment later, they stopped before the door of her hotel room.

\- Thank you for remarkable evening, Richard.- she almost whispered looking into his blue eyes.

\- It was a pleasure.- Richard answered and took her hand into his larger one, grasping it gently by the fingers and placed gentle kiss on the back. She felt mild, but pleasant tickle as his moustache touched her skin.

\- Good night, Isobel.- he said squezing her hand tenderly once more.

\- Good night, Richard.- she answered slowly opening the door fighting back the lust to kiss him. Richard smiled and left her door after it closed.


	9. The first day of confference

The great hall on the hotel ground floor was occupied by almost 100 people, sitting comfortably on chairs. In front of them, standing on highered podium, lectured several doctors expressing their opinions sharing thus their knowledge with collegues. In addition to their voices, silent movements of pen and rustling of paper could be heard as all the heads in publicum were writing down interesting facts or quetions to the theme that should have been given to the lecturer later on, during the discussion.

The hall with huge amount of adequate chairs was filling up progressively at first, but shortly before the official opening of the confference, it was full of chatter. Everybody was meeting old aquitances and friends, greeting them and shaking their hands, asking polite questions or joking about patients. In the contrast now, everybody was quiet and strict looking, focusing on the lecture or the notes in front of them. Four hours ago, not counting the lunch break, Isobel and Richard reached the hall door too. Dressed in his typical grey suit, he held the invitations in one hand and bussiness bag with notebook and pens in the other. The man controlling the invitations looked suspiciously at Isobel when seeing her, but then, as Richard handed him two invitations with their names, he looked down to the list of names and asked: - Mrs. Crawley?- Isobel only nodded and followed Richard to the room who greeted several men by gentle nod. Much more attention, however, was payed to Isobel. She was really the only woman in the room, which didn´t change neither after the door closed.

\- It was crazy idea to come.- she whispered to Richard as they were maneuvering to their seats. Many curious eyes followed her still. Richard, anyway, shook his head diagreeing as soon as they sit down.

– It wasn´t. They are just surprised, that´s all. They were overcome it after the start of first lecture. And by the way,- he looked at her moving one eyebrow higher, - you had never the slightest problem to face a general, if he had said something you didn´t agree with, so I don´t believe this will startle you.- Isobel sighed with resignation.

\- That was different. I have never approved to favour patients in the healing process just because of their social or military status. But this,- she looked around. – this is strange. You would feel uncomfortable as well if you were attending the tea party surrounded only by women, being the only man.- Richard seemed to try imagine such situation, precariously nodding or shooking his head and he had to smile when seeing the look of slight reproach Isobel was giving him.

\- You will change your mind in the moment the first lecture begins.- he said and handed her the notebook and pen.

\- I hope you are right or you will be the focus of attention of some tea party in the near future.- Isobel said with innocent smile playing on her lips answering the gentle greeting of another doctor sitting next to her. Soon after ,the oficial opening speech followed and they were told the schedule of lectures. The first lecture started and everything silenced. All the looks focused on doctor Stevenson speaking about gastric ulcers and Isobel sighed with relief catching the amused smile of doctor Clarkson. She focused on the choosen topis of gastroenterology as well and admitted that she liked it more and more every other second. Pages of her notebook were soon after covered by little notes and questions, she wanted to ask later in the discussion.

Isobel raised her hand catching the attention of almost everyone, including Richard who scanned her notes quickly, in the room once more.

\- Yes? Mrs. Crawley, if I am right.- doctor Rasmussen reacted surprised as well.

\- Yes. You have mentioned in your lecture about breast cancer, that the best method of carcinome removal is the radical mastectomy.- she started with interest and noticable hint of disagreement in her voice. – Don´t you that this method is in most cases too drastic?-

\- Drastic?- doctor Rasmussen repeated. – This saves the lives of those women and gives them change to live them fully-fledged again.-

\- That´s right of course,- she admitted, - but if we are speaking about fully-fledged lives of such women, I cannot agree. But this is not the question I wanted to ask.- Isobel continued with resolution. Richard eyed her as well. They have never spoken about these theme before, not just because of its delicacy but because of lack of similar cases in their village as well.

\- According to the latest research not only in our country but in the USA as well, the nature of breast cancer of most affected women is of mild form influencing a particular part of breast. In some cases, mostly in the initial phases, the tumor afflicts very little portion. Wouldn´t be enough, in these cases particularly, to undergo lumpectomy or axillary dissection in order to preserve possibly the largest portion of the unaffacted tissue, which would give the women really fully-fledged lives in all spheres back?- some of the doctors present looked very surprised, some resentfully, that she suggested the something about intimacy, but Richard as well as doctor Rasmussen smiled.

\- If we were speaking about every sphere of lives, Mrs. Crawley, then your solution would be the better one, I agree.- he answered calming sown the rest of the whispering publicum.

\- You are right as well, that in most cases, a really small area of tissue is affected by the carcinom. I suppose you have read the studies of doctor Halsted, where he describes various types of mastectomy as well as supports the following reparative surgery in order to replace the damaged tissue, but there is one critical problem.- he paused for a moment which Isobel used and interrupted him.

\- You mean the difficulty of carcinom range recognition?- she shocked him even more which was obvious. Richard, on the other hand, wasn´t surprised at all. He knew that when she fought for something with such resolution like now, she was prepared very well.

\- Yes, indeed.- doctor Rasmussen answered. – The main problem is that sometimes smaller portion of tissue around tumour is dissected than needed and the cancer may return.-

\- And what about the method of doctor Strassen?- she startled even more doctors.

\- This method solved this problem, you are right again, but it is very painful and notu sed so frequently.-

\- That´s a pity.- she remarked. – I believe that every woman would rather undergo such pain for a while than suffer from the loss of feminity for the rest of her life.-

\- In any case,- doctor Rasmussen continued nodding again. – The methods of axillary dissection and lumpectomy are in such cases possible, but they represent very difficult surgical interventions. There are only few surgeons in our country with such abilities, that are unfortunately not present here. I agree with you, that these methods could preserve the feminity of women and cure breast cancer as well, but we are only at the beginning of long path and we had to be more patient.- he concluded finally. Isobel nodded with smile of satisfaction and left the space for others to ask. Richard, however, didn´t pay attention to it and turning to Isobel he asked with whisper: - Are you enjoying it at last?-

\- Enjoying it?- she didn´t quite understand what he meant.

\- So you haven´t noticed those shocked looks and faces when you raised your hand and started to ruin the keystone od doctor´s Rasmussen lecture?-

\- Ruin? I don´t think so. I just wanted to hear another version and explanation why is he preferring just radical mastectomy, not mentining other possibilities.- she objected, but smiled as well. – And yes, I suppose that I am really enjoying it.-

\- I am glad. But please, spare me tomorrow.- Isobel shook her head with entertainment.

\- I have asked you everything the last time we spoke about it, I promise. Tomorrow, I will cross my fingers.-

\- One half of success is secured.- Richard remarked and focused again on the ongoing discussion as well as Isobel.

They entered the lounge, still in conversation, just after the dinner. It was much more lively than the evening before. Isobel wasn´t the only woman in the room anymore. Richard was right when telling her that they mostly attended only ball or meetings after the lectures. Many familiar faces greeted Richard and her as well, assuming that she was his wife. Several doctors, on the other hand, greeted Isobel and complimented her knowledge she had shown that day. And than Richard saw a familiar face of his old friend and schoolmate from Edinburgh. That man was speaking with another people Richard knew, but as soon as he recognized Richard´s face in that crowd, he raised his hand and with bright smile greeted him through the whole room approaching him slowly.

– Richard!- she shook his hand cordially. – I hadn´t expected to see you here this year, until Etinton announced your lecture. I am glad to see you finally.-

\- I am glad to see you as well Micheal.- Richard smiled as well, shook his head, greeting Micheal´s wife roght after: - Margaret.- He looked at Isobel standing by his side and introduced her this time.

\- Let me introduce you Mrs. Isobel Crawley, my friend and collegue.- that sounded weird as he realised in that particular moment he had said it.

\- Isobel,- he continued,- this is my former collegue and friend Micheal Roberts and his wife Margaret.-

\- Nice to meet you, Mrs. Crawley.- said Micheal when shaking her hand. – I am glad that Richard finally came to senses.- he remarked as they were nearing one of the free tables in the corner, so Richard couldn´t have heard it. Isobel smiled politely, not commenting it and seated herself into the armchair next to Richard, opposite to Margaret, that scanned her with interest.

\- Your observation was very interesting , Mrs. Crawley. In fact it recovered the boring discussion. Are you involved in this problematics?- Micheal asked, meanwhile Richard ordered some drinks.

\- Thank you Mr. Roberts.- she smiled again. – I am not dealing in mastectomy professionally. I have only read several books that caught my interest and met several women with such problems. In fact, I am not even a doctor.- she admitted.

\- No?- his eyes widened from shock. – That surprises me. I thought you are one of us! Are you collegues, or?- he looked at Richard puzzlement but continued explaining his confusion: - I must admit that I was surprised to see your hand raised, but you amazed everybody when destroying old Rasmussen´s main building block of his lecture.-

\- I am qualified nurse and I sometimes help Richard in our little hospital. I have never studied mdicine and concerning my questions today,- she smiled,- I just wanted to be sure that doctor Rasmussen knew about another possible alternatives when not mentioning them before.-

\- Just helping?- Richard protested directly and glancing Isobel for a while and then looking at Micheal explaining further: - She led the reconvalescence centre during the war and now she is examinig patients, healing them and has no problem to performe surgery.-

\- You are exaggerating.- she laughed a little.

\- I am not.- he disagreed. – If I remember right, you performed the surgery of Barrow almost by yourself.-

\- I had to. I didn´t want to risk to perform it on you as well!- Richard smiled and took the glass of whiskey from waitress´s hand, handing the glass of wine to Isobel and Margaret.

\- That´s little bit confusing.- Micheal remarked . – What happened?-

\- That´s a long story.- Richard answered grimming.

\- We have the whole evening, Richard.- Margaret said with obvious interest. Richard sighed with resignation but started to describe their experience trying to explain everything. The Roberts listened carefully and Isobel was interrupting him from time to time to add more details when needed. They had to laugh at the end and continued in friendly discussion, calling themselves by their first names soon after. Margaret involved Isobel in conversation about family and Richard entertained Michael, recalling old memories of their student years. He glanced Isobel from time to time and had to smile with satisfaction when she mentioned his name or smiled warmly. Michael observed all of it, reassuring himself in his thoughts that they were not only friends as he had been said at the beginning. Later on, doctor Rasmussen stopped by their table greeting everybody and surprisingly thanked Isobel for interesting discussion. An hour later, Margaret stood up suddendly and with smile informed them:

\- Would you apologize me? I am quite tired.- both of the men stood up politely as well, Isobel surprisingly following them.

\- I will join you, Margaret. This day was very long.-

Richard nodded and said: - Very well. It was long and exhausting day. And tomorrow will be even more exhausting.- he remarked remembering his upcoming lecture even though he would like to stay little bit longer having chat with Michael.

But Isobel shook her head: - Nonsense. Stay here and have fun.-

\- I agree.- Michael said quickly. – We haven´t seen each other for ages and I think that there are more of us from Edinburgh. I have seen even George Jacobson.-

\- Very well.- he nodded finally. Margaret kissed her husband´cheek which was impossible and inapropriate for Isobel to do. She only squeezed his hand gently and wished him good night.

\- I am looking forward your lecture tomorrow.- she smiled. Richard carresed the back of her hand with his thumb, grinning: - Good night, Isobel.- Margaret and Isobel left together.

\- Friends you´ve said?- Michael nagged suspiciously.

\- Yes, Mike. We are friends, so far.- Richard answered raising the glass of scotch to his lips.

\- I see. I hope, you will change it soon.-

\- So do I, Mike, so do I.-


	10. The evening full of surprises

It was him, who stood in front of the publicum. The confference hall was full of people focusing their sights on him. Richard, on the other hand, kept eye contact with them. Being on the highered stage, he did his best to enagage the attention of his collegues. He was lecturing the last 40 minutes, not finishing yet. He looked somewhere else again, keeping the eye contact with the most heads watching him with interest. It was strange. He wasn´t feeling very well just few hours before. He wasn´t even sure if he could manage it without problems. Even Isobel noticed his uncertainity and before his going to the podium, held his hand, softly caressing its back with thumb. Richard wasn´t sure if that had given him more courage, but he felt much better, like always in her company.

He was speaking about pneumonic plague in that moment, pointing on some enlarged pictures he brought and enjoyed it. The attention of so many people, the silence dedicated to him and his presentation of knowledge. That brought many memories on the years he was lecturing as a profesor and made him feel exactly that good. It was so extraordinary and he relished it. He continued to speak about lung parenchymal diseases explaining the causes of newborn atelectasis and mentioned several cases he observed during the war. He mentioned silicosis as well, that treated badly mainly mineworkes in his homeland. Richard had his last 10 minutes and that´s why he lowered his voice, silencing himself for a while, which kept his listeners more concentrated.

\- What can we do?- he asked finishing slowly, - What can we do to reduce the occurence of these illnesses? Pneumonial diseases represent serious concern and problem, which needs to be solved if we want to reach success. It is needful to concentrate our minds on research but on local and individual cases in order to recognize all the symptoms to heal them. It is vital to inform the community and public,- and for the first time of his lectures, he looked directly at Isobel, even though she watched him carefully all the time, and continued: - It is necessary to have the thirst for knowledge and not relying on the steadfastness of dogmas. Thank you for attention.- he finished but didn´t leave the stage. The discussion followed surprisingly just afterwards. Isobel was proud of him. The way he spoke about all the diseases, his self-confidence and natural talent to enagage the attention. She could finally see him as a profesor he once used to be. She had to smile when he, once or twice, had said exactly the same sentence he used to explain her then the problematics with. She examined the expression of his face, which had changed so much since the time he headed towards the stage. There were no worries in his eyes anymore. They had been replaced by sparkles of flame. Isobel thought at first that his lecture would be exactly the same as before, but he mentioned many diseases she had never heard about. She listened even more carefully being surprised by his knowledge more than ever. She was thinking what would have happened if he stayed at university and led his research. When seeing the sparkles in his eyes, she had to ask herself if he really hadn´t regretted to leave Edinburgh all those years ago. She saw him scanning the room with his eyes, but she couldn´t capture his sight. Not even once did he look at her. Only then. In the moment he spoke about the importance of knowledge and she knew that these words were addressed directly to her. She really lusted for learning and wanted changes, not only in society but in her personal life as well. And then, Isobel knew that he wanted the same. He abated which was followed by applaus, Isobel joined. Soon after first hands were risen and first questions given. Discussion followed. She could hear the voice of Michael Roberts and doctor Rasmussen as well. Many other had inquires as well until the time was over and Richard returned back to his seat. The feeling of euphoria from the lecturing was slowly leaving him, but he didn´t mind it. He changed and even though it was pleasant to return back to his role as a profesor, he was glad that it was over.

\- It was amazing.- Isobel smiled happily. – You were amazing, Richard.-

\- Thank you.- he answered returning her look. – I have to admit that it was good feeling to be back on the stage.-

\- I have noticed, you enjoyed it.- she whispered because another lecture just started. – Are you sure that you don´t want to return back to lecturing? To Edinburgh?- she asked for certainity but Richard only shook his head and with puckish smile returned back the question.

\- Do you want to get rid of me, Isobel?-

\- No! I just want to be sure that you are satisfied with Downton and our little hospital.-

\- I am.- he reassured her. They focused on the next lecture but soon after Isobel asked again with curiosity: - Why did the discussion of your lecture followed directly after the lecture?-

Richard turned to face her again. – I won´t be there at 7 o´clock.-

\- How´s that?- she didn´t understand. Richard looked little bit mysterious and shrugged his shoulders whispering:

\- We are leaving at 5:30 so we will miss the news from nefrology. Anyway, we have more interesting program, I hope so.- this surprised her even more.

\- We do?- she didn´t remember if he had mentioned something. – And what for a program?- she wanted to know.

\- That´s surprise. But we will have dinner at 6.-

\- So soon?- they used to dinner at 8.

\- Yes. Otherwise, we would be late.- so he had plans for something afterwards- hit her mind.

\- Late for what?- she asked but Richard shook his head grinning playfully.

\- You will find out in the right time, Isobel.- Isobel frowned a little.

\- I don´t even know what to dress like.- she remarked with reproach. Richard had to sigh.

\- I´ll wear a smoking.- he answered calmly. – And you can wear the dress for tomorrow´s ball. But do not ask more questions! Enjoy the last minutes of the lectures.- and then he focused on the lecturer again. Isobel followed his example unable to concentrate. Her mind was full of unanswered question.

\- You really won´t tell me what to await?- she tried it once more, right after the door of confference hall closed behind them. He shook his head anew.

\- No. I won´t. You know everything what is needful to know and you will find out the rest at the right moment.- Isobel resigned, looking little bit sad, but he knew what was that about. He saw the joy in her eyes, that gave her away. They went to the restaurant and chose the meal in surprisingly short time. Isobel was trying again to find out more but Richard didn´t retreat and spoke about something else. About the confference, lectures and friends, they both were leaving the restaurant in short time.

\- Am I only imagining it, or is this conferrence really going so fast?- she asked with sigh of ruth.

\- You are not imagining it. It is like this everytime, but we have this evening and tomorrow, even though the most important part is over,- he admitted with smile but added: - The most important at least from the medical sight of view.- Isobel smiled, being aware that he is provoking her again. He was good in it, she had to admit that. Her curiosity grew even more.

\- You are enjoying it! Aren´t you?- she remarked as they reached the elevator and Richard nodded grinning again.

\- I am.- he agreed. – It´s you mostly to surprise me and I have to say that it is really good feeling when I know something you don´t.-

\- I see.- she lifted her brow a little. – But it seems to me that you ar enjoying to turture me.- Richard shook his head.

\- But you are enjoying it as well, Isobel.- he gave her knowing look. – It´s obvious.-

\- Is it?- she blushed slightly and he started to laugh.

\- Yes.- They stepped out of the elevator.

\- And I should wear the ball dress.- she reasurred herself when they stopped before her door.

\- And don´t forget we are leaving at 7.- Richard nodded.

Richar stood in front of the mirror checking his bowtie. He slipped into his coat controlling the little black box and taking his hat into hand left the room little bit nervous. He knocked on Isobel´s door, realizing that he hadn´t given her probably that much time to prepare, but he hoped, she was ready. They had no time to spare. The door opened after a while and everything seemed all right. She looked perfect and in his eyes she was alluring, but her face expression revealed that not everything was that good. She grabbed his hand and took him to the room as soon as she opened the door. He was speechless, unable to react in that moment, full of questions.

\- I need you to place this necklace on me.- she said explaining handing him that necklace. Richard thus put the hat he was holding on to her bed and standing behind her placed the necklace around her neck, almost embarcing her. Just in that moment, Isobel realized to which situation she had brought them, him in fact. If he had kissed her directly on the neck in that moment, she wouldn´t let him leave the room anymore, not minding what they would miss. She glanced to the mirror in front of which they were standing trying to decode his expression and her heartbeat fastened. He seemed to be so focused when switching the necklace. Concentrated more than needful. He could scent her fragrance so untypical of her, but well-describing her at the same time- tantalizing but tender. He focused on the details of her neck remebering every inch of it and catched himself by the idea of kissing her. He noticed that she positioned the necklace on the right place and with quick glance, he looked into the mirror recognizing the rasing of her breasts in that wonderful carmine red dress . Finally he managed to switch the necklace, touching her skin with fingertips and stepped back a little.

\- We have to go, now.- he whispered and took his hat. Isobel nodded and distracted the same way like he, took her coat. They left her room. The whole incident didn´t last more than 5 minutes but it seemed to last the eternity, that was mysterious, exciting and tantalizing but gentle and sweet as well.

\- Isobel.- he adressed her.

\- Richard.- she adressed him in the same moment and both smiled. They felt like students falling in love for the very first time.

\- You are beautiful.- he said when she kept silence and blushed anew.

\- I am glad that we attended this conferrence. That we are here. Both of us. Together.- she said and took his hand. Richard squeezed it gently and smiled. They knew. Finally. There was no need for further explanation and long sentences. Holding each others hand, they left the hotel building and stepped into the taxi car awaiting them. They arrived without telling the driver where. He already knew. Isobel didn´t mind it this time. The only important thing was that they were going together. She looked into the window and glanced the streets they were passing by, stil holding his hand. Richard was silent as well. His eyes were focused on Isobel. He studied her magnificient face profile lit by the street lamps every now and then. He examined the line of her neck moving his sight down her shoulders, arms, finally concentrating on their hands. He gazed at them with amusement until the vehicle stopped in front of building lit by so many lamps, it seemed it was a day.

\- Theatre?- she asked smiling widely. Richard nodded even though they were not visiting it because of dramatical play.

\- It has been ages since I was the last time in theatre.- she said after he paid the taxi and took her hand again.

\- The same by me.- he smiled and led her to the building. The entrance hall was full of people dressed in similar smokings and dresses that were slowly approaching 3 large staircases. Richard helped Isobel with her coat and took it to the reception. Isobel looked around her trying to find a program but couldn´t see anything.

\- Will you finally tell me what play will we watch tonight?- she asked when he returned.

\- I won´t. But who said we were attending a theater performance?- he replied mysteriously and offered her shoulder.

\- Will you tease me till the end?- she asked again.

\- Yes. But don´t worry, it won´t last that long.- Richard answered and led her to their seats in lodge. Isobel glanced the stage in front of them. It was still lit and she could recognize many details. Then, the door of their lodge, that was full at last, closed and the reflectors lit the orchester under the stage. Short applaus could be heard. – An opera?- the idea hit her mind, but then, with the first tones of violin, she knew she had been wrong again. She looked at Richard, who was smiling watching her closely.

\- How?- she managed to say. She wanted to ask how did he know that the Swan Lake was her favourite ballet even though she wasn´t sure if not mentioning that sometimes in the past.

\- I know you Isobel.- he answered whispering, took her hand into his, and focused on the performance, just like Isobel soon after.

The last violin tones died away and everything remained silent. The silence was broken down by enormous applause of everybody. Lights were lit again and the hall was emptying right after. They were the last ones in their lodge soon and Richard regreted that he had left the ring in his coat. Isobel had stil tears in her eyes as she accepted Richards arm again. They entered the giant entrance hall again and Richard managed to bring their coats and hats in few minutes. They slipped into them and went outside. It was raining and sidewalk in front of theatre was full of black taxis waiting for passengers.

\- We don´t have an umbrella, do we?- she asked joyfully.

\- No. I didn´t count with rain.- he admitted and sighed. – We will have to obtain the taxi as soon as possible.- Isobel nodded and saddened little bit when he left her standing under the roof of theatre in order to get the taxi. The rain hit the streets heavier than few minutes before. Richard raised his hand to give a sign for taxi drivers hoping that Isobel would listen to him and stay under the roof. One of the taxis was slowing down, approaching Richard , so Isobel hurried through the rain to reach Richard as well. He could see that, but he knew as well that the taxi wasn´t going to stop, only slowed down and that´s why he let fall his arm again reaching for her to stop her before she could have been hit by the car. Richard managed to grab her hand in the last moment pulling her to him little bit oafishly and she, surprised by the sudden movement, lost almost her balance. She didn´t know in the first moment what was happening, but then, being in his arms, she noticed the same thing Richard had noticed before. She was safe. Richard held her in arms, embracing her securely around her waist and raised his hand again focusing on his task to get a taxi. She put down her hands on his chest touching almost his cheek with nose and scented his aftershave. She moved her fingers higher touchig the skin of his neck. Another raindrop falled down her face, but she only smiled, not minding it. She caressed his jawbone close to his ear in the same moment a taxi stopped in front of them. Richard looked finally down, being aware the whole time of her actions but didn´t kiss her, instead opened the door hastily and helped her to step in. He couldn´t risk to loose another taxi. After giving the taxi driver address of their hotel, he turned to face her again. Both of them were soaked a little but not that much to feel it directly on the skin.

\- Did you want to escape?- he asked lifting one brow. They set off. Isobel shook her head and calmly answered.

\- Why would I, Richard? I wouldn´t have a chance, even if I wanted.- Richard smiled and nodded.

\- That´s right.- and moved his eyes on her lips. Isobel noticed it and smiled with approval. He took her hand anew, nearing her, bowing little bit to ease the kiss, but their hats unabled them to kiss and little stream of rain water was falling down slowly. Isobel giggled, because it all falled down on her.

\- You made me wet.- she remarked, without thinking once more. Richard´s eyes widened and he looked totally shocked, not knowing if he heard right. He gasped for air and swallowed hardly and then Isobel realized what had she said and how it must have sounded. She burst into laugh, unable to stop. Richard was stil startled but then it hit him as well. Not that ´wet´. He joined her with relief. The vehicle was slowly approaching the hotel as they stopped and Richard finally removed his hat, mumbling something to himself, and neared her once more. The door opened so suddendly, they didn´t even manage to kiss. They were so close to each other, Richard could scent her attractive perfume again. He sighed, but Isobel didn´t care if the whole street or taxidriver would see them kissing. She placed her hand on his cheek again and closed her eyes, giving him clear sign to continue. He kissed her. Slowly and gently at first but more passionate the second time. Isobel opened her eyes and both of them smiled with satisfaction gazing stil at the lips of each other. They stepped out. Richard led her to the hotel, focusing on the next steps of his plan silently. They passed by the entrance hall and reception but didn´t head to the staircase, but to the lounge. That surprised Isobel. She thought they were returning to their rooms, or to one of them.

\- Richard!- interrupted them a well-known voice. They had to stop. Richard sighed, sounding little bit angry.

\- Richard!- the voice hurrying towards them called him again. Micheal reached them and sighed with relief smiling satisfied, not realizing that he interrupted something important. – We have been looking for you the entire evening! Where did you disappear? We want to discuss something important with you. Rasmussen and Kargessen were asking for you as well as Eastwick.-

\- I don´t have time, Mike. You will have to manage without me.- he answered thinking about the ring in black box and Isobel´s hot lips.

\- It is crucial.- Michael Roberts repeated. – We are in billiard room, you have to come.- he insisted looking at Isobel this time.

\- I am sorry Mike, but not today.- he lifted his brow as to indicate his intentions. This time Isobel was the one to protest.

\- You should go Richard.- she said knowing that that discussion was important, even though she would be rather if he stayed with her. – There won´t be time tomorrow and only God knows when you will see each other again.-

\- Isobel!- he disagreed little bit frowning, but she only smiled, amused.

\- Go! Tomorrow will be just ours, I promise.-

\- May we count with your presence, then?- Michael asked Richard.

\- Of course you can.- answered Isobel instead of him and Michael, with thankful smile directed to Isobel, left.

\- I don´t want to end this night like this, Isobel.- he said, but she moved directly in front of him, taking both of his hands.

\- Neither do I, Richard. But you should go there anyway. It might be important and I don´t want you to miss it because of me.- she smiled happily again.

\- I disagree. I wanted to tell you so many things. Isobel.- he shook his head.

\- I know. So be accurate tomorrow. At 11 we will head into the town having all the day for talks.- he wanted to say something else, but she quickly placed her finger on his lips to silence him and kissed him.

\- We know the most important thing now, don´t we?- she whispered stil close to him smiling. – Good night, Richie and enjoy the time with your friends.- she said at last and quickly disappeared.

\- Good night, Bel.- he wished her whispering, watching her leaving.

The 2 large billiard tables, the dominances of the room, were not encircled by men as expected. The room was filled up with dim light and everybody present there was seated in comfortable black, leather armchairs that surrounded a small table in the middle. In front of every man stood a glass full of golden content. Everybody was dressed in suits they were wearing on the lectures and chatting, obviously entertained by another witty joke. The room garnished by dark mahogany wood hosted 5 men, 4 of which Richard knew. He unbottoned his coat hanging it on the hanger in the corner and joined the company.

\- What do I owe the pleasure to be invited to this session?- he asked politely, stil sounded little bit sharp, but greeted them all, being introduced to the unknown man at last- doctor Gregory Stinson.

\- It concerns your friend, doctor Clarkson.- Stinson announced him afterwards, pouring whiskey into another glass. Richard eyed him with confusion.

\- I beg you pardon?- he frowned his eyebrow looking at the rest of the company as well.

\- I am sure that the invitation for this annual confference that Mrs. Crawley recieved surprised you both.- Stinson began explaining. – The main reason was of course to get to know her better.-

\- Get to know her?- Richard interrupted that man. His Isobel? That made him angry which was obviously obvious, because doctor Stinson as well as the others had to smile slightly.

\- To get to know her qualities and knowledge in the field of medicine.- doctor Rasmussen corrected doctor Stinson and continued. – That´s why we wanted her to attend the lectures as well, not only the annual ball. We wondered if she would take interest in the lectures, but to be honest, none of us expected her to take part in the discussion, at least not with such verve.-

\- Yes. She is enthusiastic if anything catches her interest.- he nodded, - but I still cannot see what this all should mean.- another man, doctor Kargesen, joined the talk.

\- As you know, Richard,- he started, - we enabled women to study medicine at our alma mater, Edinburgh University, few years ago and so they can recieve the medical title that allowes them to practice medicine fully. The problem, however, is that they are accepted by the society just hardly and that´s why leave our country for the USA, where the society is more liberal. That´s something we would like to change, but it is hard, because we have no contact with women doctors and we cannot help them, we don´t know how or what they need as a support.- Richard knew about this problem, but stil couldn´t see why this should concern his Isobel.

\- I understand,- he said even though it wasn´t true, interrupting this man as well. – but Isobel, I mean Mrs. Crawley, isn´t one of them. She is not a doctor even though she has the knowledge of a one and has no problems with acceptance of society.- he eyed Stinson then. – She hasn´t the title, that has been given to her name in that article, even though she deserves one. So tell me why she!- he wanted to hear the answer finally. Another man smiled and clapped his hands.

\- That´s it, Richard!- doctor Eastwick, his old collegue from research and professor in the presence, said. – The title added to her name was no mistake or coincidence.- Stinson remarked. – As we were deciding which articles to put into the next volume of journal, we found yours and the one from Mrs. Crawley. Both were very interesting, not only because of the scientific content and accuracy but because of the fact that the one was written by a woman as well. We added that title only to make it more trustworthy and to support other women- doctors in work, research.-

\- You wouldn´t believe, Richard,- Kargesen addressed him again, - how many letters from women we had recieved afterwards. They were grateful that we printed something written by one of them and we recieved several good articles as well.-

\- That gave us the idea how we can help them. We had finally contact with them and some of them are having similar verva for medicine like your Mrs. Crawley.

\- I agree.- Richard nodded and took the glass into his hand. – There are many women in Downon alone, being accepted and successful in jobs, that have been seen like masculine ones. But stil, what do you want from Isobel?-

Michael finally spoke out: - Try to listen for a while, my friend.-

\- After all Micheal told us, after all we heard and were witnesses of during the discussion yesterday, after all we´ve heard from doctor Chester, we concluded that she deserves the title as well. She seems to be accepted by the people there and by you as well. She could be the encouragement and good example for another women.- Eastwick answered.

\- We wanted to suggest something.- Kargesen continued. – And that´s the reason you are here as well. We can´t give her the title just like that, even though she has all the knowledge, but there is the possibility to gain it in one year by undergoing examination in the most vital subjects. The praxis shouldn´t be problem.- Richard listened with amazement processing everything he had heard in last minutes. – We want to know, however, if she would manage it and accept it.-

Richard sighed and answered: - I have no doubt that she could work it out, but you have to ask her as well.-

\- We will.- doctor Rasmussen answered. – But we wanted to hear your opinion firstly as well as something more about her work in your hospital, because doctor Chester couldn´t say us much.- Richard realised that that name was familiar to him.

\- You know doctor Chester?- he asked. – He informed you?-

\- Yes. He is my nephew.- Eastwick answered calmly. – But don´t worry. He isn´t a spy. He just mentioned to help you in the hospital for several days. There´s no need to be angry.-

\- Alright. You want to know something more about her work?- he repeated again and Kargesen nodded.

\- Exactly. But don´t worry. We won´t missuse it.-

\- I am glad, because I wouldn´t advise you to do such stupidity.-

\- We know you too well, Richard. I have told them that she is yours but I am sure they saw it anyway.- Micheal reassured him grinning. Richard had to smile as well.

\- It´s not what I would do to you ,I would be afraid on your place, even though it wouldn´t be pleasant, but I would be afraid of her alone. I have seen her angry many times and believe me, you wouldn´t dare to cross her way then.-

\- And where have you been the entire evening?- Michael asked him when the rest of the men left the room. – You disappeared so suddendly, I haven´t even noticed when and I couldn´t find you after the discussion.-

\- We left sooner and attendet ballet performance. You reached us as we were returning.- Richard explained with sudden sad look Michael noticed and asked with concern.

\- What happened? You looked happy, at least she did. You, on the other hand, frowned.-

\- Well it happened something, Mike.- Richard nodded, - You interrupted me in my effort to ask her to marry me.-

\- Really?- he grinned but then sighed realizing what had he caused. – I am sorry.- he apologized.

\- You should be. It was perfect evening and splendid occasion.-

\- Will you try tomorrow? I think she will say yes.- he tried to smile again. Richard nodded.

\- I will do it tomorrow, no mater what, but believe me, if you or anybody else mess it up again,- he lifted his eyebrows with warning, - I swear to be bad.


	11. The end

_This is the last chapter :D Thank you for all the reviews and support. It meant the whole world to me. I hope you enjoyed it as well...so this is the end._

The last day of the conferrence. The last day of their London trip. The day they left the Ripon Train Station seemed so far away now, even though it was just 4 days ago. So many things happened in these days. Their first dinner in restaurant, the first day of medical confference and her questions that surprised everyone, their first real kiss, the certainity that they were both in love. And now, the last day of the confference and the half day they were supposed to spend as a couple, together. She smiled and checked herself in the mirror again. She left the room few minutes before 11 o´clock and hoped that Richard would be prepared, even though she didn´t know how long did he stayed in that billiard room the previous night. She wanted to knock on his door, but it opened sooner.

\- Ready?- she asked with smile and he asnwered with nod.

\- Ready and curious what you have planned for today. And what´s more, I have secured myself with an umbrella, this time.- Isobel grinned remembering the previous night again.

\- I am glad, because I want to take a look on London.-

\- Where are we going at firts, if I might ask?- he smiled joyfully and took her hand. Isobel pretended to think about it seriously.

\- I really have the taste to keep you in the darkness, but I don´t really know which places will we visit today. I think that we might start with brunch and Picadilly isn´t that far away, so we can walk there.-

\- That sounds great.- he admitted. – Have you had breakfast?-

\- No. And I suppose neither did you.- Richard nodded.

After the brunch, they walked slowly through the streets, passing by the boutiques and shops, sometimes stopping for a while in front of their windows, sometimes stepping inside. They left another boutique when noticing the windows of large bookstore.

Each stood in different corner of the huge shop, scanning different bookshelves and listing through the pages of various books. Richard was going deeper approaching the part of the shop which the daylight reached the least. He took several books about medicine into his hands but couldn´t find anything that would help Isobel in her studies. Most of the books he saw, were in his library as well. He went further and his attention was caught by the back of one book. It was covered in leather which colour reminded him of Isobel´s dress the previous evening. He got it out of the shelve, brushing his fingers against the title of the book. – Scottish legends and myths.- was written there in english and scottish as well. He read the name of the book once more when opening it. He listed through first pages. Every leaf was decorated with beatiful illustrations in vivid colours. Richard read himself into one story, which was familiar to him and had to smile with nostalgy. On each page was something very well-known and close to his heart. It reminded him of his childhood, long winter evenings he and his brother tried to animate a little by reading them or scottish wilderness, that looked almost as described in the myths. He found several words in his mother language written in old scottish gaelic alphabeth and it lasted him several seconds to decode them. Some words pronounced aloud recalled the memories of his father´s deep voice. He turned another page returning to Scotland once more.

Isobel has chosen several books meanwhile and put them on the pult. After a while she looked for Richard but couldn´t see him directly from the front parts of the shop. She found him in the back. He seemed to be a bit dreamy and thoughtful which raised her level of curiosity again. Approaching him closer, she observed the smile of nostalgy. He didn´t notice her at first, but then her perfume gave her away and warm touch of her hand, that she placed onto his shoulder lowering it little bit so she could see what had amazed him that much. He returned back from his memories and gave her questioning look.

\- What is this book about?- she wanted to know and observed the wonderful illustrations as well.

\- Old scottish myths and legends.- he answered careening the book so she could see better.

\- Do you know all of them?- she turned another page.

\- Mostly.- he admitted smiling. – We used to listen to them quite often as kids.- Isobel´s lips widened into smile when she imagined Richard as a boy and eyed him again.

\- They seem quite interesting.- she remarked.

\- They are impressive and full of mysterious creatures and beings. Haven´t you heard any before?-

\- No.- she shook her head. – But I would like to.- these words warmed his heart again.

\- I can introduce you into this problematics as well, when we are at home.- he said with serious face as it was another topic of medicine that needed to be discussed. Isobel giggled and nodded. It sounded really good when he said at home, not back in Downton, but at home, their home.

Isobel insisted on paying all the books, even that one he had choosen- Scottish myths and legends-. Richard, however, protested and insisted on his own, explaining her that the trip was his idea and that´s why all the payments should be financed by him. Isobel frowned dangerously, first time after ages, and led him further from the pult: - This was my idea, so don´t be that stubborn. I wanted to buy you something to thank you for not giving it up on me anyway and now I don´t have to choose anymore. After all, I will have much more benefits from this book than you.-

\- I can tell you all of the stories without reading them.- he stil disagreed. Isobel sighed.

\- I am relying on you telling me them without reading but I like the illustrations and I don´t suppose you will draw them as well. Come on!- she insisted again.

\- All right. I will wait outside.- he said finally stil not agreeing completely and waited outside the store. Isobel shook her head once more and paid all the books, sending them directly to the hotel. Outside the shop, she took his hand again and smiled like nothing had happened. Richard looked at her with surprise but stil walked with her the way she chose. They remained silent until they reached St. James Park. Then, Isobel started to laugh winning herself another of his shocked glances.

\- I hope that you won´t be frowning like this the whole day.- she explained her sudden amusement. He shook his shoulders and tried to smile instead.

\- Better?-

\- Better.- she nodded. – So Scotland.- she continued. – Do you miss it?-

\- I don´t know. Maybe. Sometimes.- he answered.

\- And what do you miss the most?- she wanted to know more. Richard finally smiled warmly.

\- The nature. That cannot be compared to the one in England.-

\- I have never been in Scotland.- she said. – But I have heard much about the beauty of the nature.-

\- We have to change that.- Richard remarked thinking about the discussion with his former collegues from the previous day as well.

\- Change what?- Isobel was with her thoughts further thinking about the nature Matthew described her in letters.

\- The fact that you have never been in Scotland before, of course.- he grinned.

\- Oh.- she laughed. – It seems that I am with my thoughts further once more.-

\- Where? If it isn´t secret of course.- he wanted to know.

\- In scottish nature.- she answered quickly. – Matthew wrote about it in his letters, when they visited it.- Richard glanced her carrefully when speaking about her son but she seemed alright and noticed his look of worry.

\- I am alright.- she reasurred him. – But tell me more about the wilderness. You know it much better than Matthew did.- she smiled squeezing his hand gently.

\- Are you sure?- he wanted to know but Isobel only rolled her eyes.

\- Yes. You are after all a Scotman. Come on.- this time he smiled as well. She was moving so quickly in her thoughts and he was to slow to follow her, at least in that moment. He started to talk about magnificient mountains in the north, about the rocks lining the entire countryside, about the greenery that has different tint than the trees and plants in England and Wales. He dwelled about silent nooks and magical lakes describing everything so vividly. They continued to walk, stopping only when laughing on his memories and witty experiences of his childhood. And Isobel listened carefully enjoying Richard´s company and exploring of his past. They walked very slowly even though it was becoming colder. That allowed them to be closer to each other and share the common heat. She held his arm, embracing it by both of her hands thus cuddling to him somehow and Richard, satisfied with all of it, smiled widely.

\- I will take you there once.- he said after finnishing his monologue.

\- I hope so.- she grinned remaining little bit surprised when they stopped so abruptly. Richard looked into her eyes again, allowing her to pass through the curtain directly to his heart. His look was full of love and admiration. He sloped a little and kissed her. His lips touched hers, hot and soft. Another kiss followed. He sandwiched her lower lip between his lips and sucked gently. Richard repeated it once more but this time more lustfully . Isobel moving her hands on his chest answered his kiss the same way. She felt the tickling of his mustache and smiled before their lips parted. They remained to stand closely, stil in embracement and both giggling.

\- Where now?- he asked her whispering. Isobel gazed him another few moments, speechless for a while and then answered. – A cup of tea would be nice.- He nodded and kissed her once more before heading to the tearoom.

\- What was the meeting yesterday like? Was it interesting?- she asked and sipped the hot tea, slowly warming up. Richar nodded.

\- Yes. Indeed. Nobody of us played billiard.- she expected that in fact and lifted her eyebrow.

\- And what was it about then?- she smiled.

\- In fact, it concerned our alma mater, the Edinburgh University. We studied there, all of us, even Rasmussen. Kargesen and Eastwick are professors and leading figures of faculty of medicine.- he revelead her almost the entire truth, at least one of its parts. Isobel seemed slightly unsure wondering what did they want from him.

\- They tried to persuade you to return and teach, didn´t they?- she remarked.

\- No. Nothing like that had been even mentioned.-

\- And what did they want from you?- she was asking further obviously relieved, but not completely calm.

\- They wanted to hear my opinion on a problem, they would like to solve.- Richard was stil mysterious.

\- But they didn´t allure you to help them to solve it, I hope.- Richard smiled- in fact that was the main reason why they had called him to that room. Not directly to solve the problem, that should have been partially her task, he should have only helped her to accomplish it.

\- They did, partially.- he agreed obbserving her reaction. She put the cup on the table again.

\- And you have decided to help.- she finished instead of him focusing on his eyes for another time. She knew, he wouldn´t have left her and leave for Scotland, and even if he left, he said her, to take her with him. She only thought that it would be shorter trip.

\- Yes. I have. But my help doesn´t require the need of leaving for Scotland.- smile returned to her face.

\- What are you going to help them with, if you can say me, of course.- she asked once more, relieved.

-I can´t. Not now. But you will find out later this evening and I am sure you will like it.- he reasurred her with puckish smile.

\- If it is such amazing surprise like the ballet yesterday, I will like it.- they were moving back to the previous night.

\- I am glad that you liked it.-

\- It was marvelousl evening.- she replied.

\- Just because of you, Isobel. You made it magical.-

\- Hardly. You were the whiz.- she disagreed but blushed and took his hand again. He lifted it towards his lips and kissed it. She closed her eyes enjoying such softness and tenderness.

\- You were the magical substance, Isobel.- he finished caressing it gently.

He had always considered her to be beautiful woman. Whether she wore a nurse apron covered in blood or incredible evening dress. Whether she wore simple costume or long skirt with white blouse. He saw many forms of her beauty. Whether she smiled or cried. Whether she frowned or sparkled with peace. Whether she bursted out of anger or showed her love for others with her actions. In every her resemblance, in every moment, he considerd her fot the most impressive woman and in the last days, he was able to admit it openly. He admired her hazel-brown eyes, which look warmed his heart even in the coldest days full of pain and horor. He adored the lavender fragrance of her hair inwrought with honey-like colours of the autumn. Her lips spread in smile lit the darkest days in the storm time and her figure, her physical beauty, hadn´t left a dry fibre on him. He loved her and admired all of it. But now, standing in the door of her room, she looked even more fascinating and alluring. His heart beat fastly and he had the feelin, that it would jump of his chest. He stood there speechless, unable to say anything staring at her. She deprived him of ability to speak. It wasn´t caused by the fact that she looked completely different, no. He had seen her in beautiful dresses many times before. He had adored her look even the previous night as well, but today she looked impeccable. She wore long greyish-blue dress with fine dark blue embroidery on her breasts and drapery on her hips falling down her legs and waving softly with every move she made. They lined her figure making her attractive. Her arms looked very slim in the long white gloves that were partially coverd by the soft sleeves. He had never seen her before in such sparkling colour. She wore mostly dark colours and this one matched even the colour of his eyes. He stared at her with amusement and the rest of the world ceased to exist.

\- Richard?- she addressed him with worries in her voice after several seconds of silence and no reaction from his side. He was stil wordless.

\- Richard?! What happened?- she was troubled. He wasn´t looking into his eyes as most of the time, he didn´t glance her lips as the previous days – he seemed to look somehow through her. He wasn´t reacting so she took his hand drawing him inside her room, even though it was time to leave. That touch woke him up from dreaming and his eyes met with hers finally.

\- Are you alright.- she asked him once more and he nodded.

\- I am.- he answered in slightly strangled voice. She wasn´t persuaded about it completely, though, and looked at him still worried. Raising right hand, she touched his cheek and caressed it.

\- Tell me, what´s happening?- she whispered. – You are pale. Are you sure you are alright?- Richard nodded again and smiled a little. That weakness, he felt in his knees, was slowly disappearing.

\- It´s just you.- he explained some seconds after another silent staring at her.

\- Me?- she didn´t understand and looked confused.

\- You took my breath away and the ability to speek as well. You look marvelous.- he managed to say and his eyes scanned her anew. Isobel smiled, honestly touched by his words. She caressed his cheek again, immersing her fingers slowly into his hair, and then moving them down his neck, approaching finally his shoulder. – You look perfect as well.- she commented with soft smile. Richard took her second hand and placed it on his chest, embracing her around hips. He kissed her, this time barely touching her lips. They felt it much stronger, even though the kiss was almost shy.

\- We should go or we will miss the first waltz.- he whispered. Isobel was blushing, but that only multiplied her beauty in his eyes. She nodded and they left her room.

The giant room on the second hotel floor was full of people. Everybody was there, even unfamiliar faces that hadn´t appeared on the confference before. After the openning speech of ball and formal ending of confference, first waltz followed. The parquet, illuminated by six large crystal lustres, was full of people. Isobel and Richard, in close embracement, danced as well. The beautiful music of old waltzes brought so many memories on evenings they only listened to its tones- alone or together, but stil alone. Everybody danced. Their friends, aquitances and collegues. Everybody.

The walls of hall were lined by long tables full of glasses with champagne and in the room, separated from the dancing parquet by large mahogan doors were smaller tables and chairs for the later dinner party. Rooms were full of light and the darkness of the London streets couldn´t pass inside even through large windows that were partially covered by large pupur curtains. The only darker corner of those places was little glass terace that was empty that evening but allowed the weak light of moon and several stairs to enter the world of joy. Everybody kept entertained as the time was passing by, Richard and Isobel danced very long, not wanting to let the other on ego, but finally, after a long time they joined Michael and Margaret and several other friends as well. The dinner was over. The 9th and 10th hour passed of and the 11th hour was slowly receding. Nevermind the late hours, they were stil fresh, both of them and had great time. They felt more comfrotable than on similar occasions at Downton. In the room was however one person that wasn´t that joyful like the other when onserving this couple. A woman. In Isobel´s age. She glanced them with jelous looks full of ill-will and envy. Her eyes sparkled with anger and hate when seeing them smiling and laughing joyfully, when seeing them dancing in embracement closer than appropriate.

Isobel, form shock, blinked several times: - I beg you pardon? I am not sure if I´ve heard right.- she reacted surprised and looked quetioning at Richard sitting next to her.

\- You heard right, Mrs. Crawley. We are really offering you the opportunity to achieve valid medical diplom and title.- Henry Kargesen repeated and smiled.

\- Your article in medical journal initiated new vawe of women-doctor publications, that are mostly leaving our country. We recieved many letters full of gratitude that we published an article of one of them, that we supported them.- continued doctor Stinson, the man who initiated the idea of this surprise. Isobel was stil in shock- they were addressing her and offering her the ability to study, to be a doctor. She had been dreaming about it the entire life. That should have been that surprise Richard was speaking about? – That´s why we think that you should really be one of us, even though the title or diploma won´t make you a doctor, because, according to all the informations, you already are a doctor.-

\- After all we have heard about you, we have witnessed in these past days, we all believe that your knowledge should be appreciated fully. Doctor Clarkosn mentioned your self-sacrifice, will to study more and abilities in surgical room as well. What should characterise the doctor, the healer, better if not this?- doctor Rasmussen joined them. Isobel glanced Richard again. With gratefullness, with love but with worries in her eyes as well. She wasn´t expecting something similar. Not in her age, in the era she was living in.

\- May we count with you and officialy register you as a student of medical faculty?- asked Alfred Eastwick sitting in fron of her. Isobel took deep breath.

\- Are you sure about this?- she asked once more.

\- Of course. That´s why we wanted you to attend medical confference, even though you are not actually a member of Royal Medical Society.- Eastwick was explaining further reasurring her. It was huge decision, and hard as well, but she wanted to accept this offer. She sighed, looking at each of them, finally resting her eyes on Richard.

\- What are you thinking about it, Richard?- she needed to hear his opinion. He grasped her hand gently and answered: - If there is a woman I can imagine as a doctor, than it is you, Isobel. You should accept it. Anyway, you have never been in Scotland before and this would be great opportunity to visit it.- he joked grinningly. Isobel nodded and facing back the others decided: - All right. I am accepting your offer.-

\- We are glad. All the study plans will be sent to you in short time as well as the formalities and study materials. If there are any tasks or questions, even the need of scientific literature, just contact us, but I think that Richard´s library will be enough.- smile Henry Kargesen at last.

\- It is unbelievable, isn´t it?- she wondered smiling after they returned to the dance hall. – That we are here, in this society and in short time, I´ll be maybe one of you. Isn´t it crazy?-

\- No.- he shook his head. – In fact, it is logical. In another time, I am sure that such halls and confferences would be full of women- doctors. I am glad that such idea hit their minds at last.- he objected and looked at her hands. She held an empty glass in the other hand, as well as he did. He scanned her ring finger as well and smiled. He was determined to ask her that particular question. Again and correctly this time.

\- May I bring you another glass?- he interrupted her monologue about different era, surprising her a bit. It seemed that he was somewhere else with his thoughts, but she nodded, not minding it that much. She had the reason to celebrate. First time after the death of her only son, she felt completely happy. He took th empty glass off her hand and went to the tables in the corner. Isobel watched him with admiration for a while but then joined the talk Margaret and Mrs. Eastwick were having. Richard was approaching the table with great feeling. Everything seemed to be perfect. He had amazing women by his side, and hoped that she would become his officially as well. He put down the empty glasses and reached for full ones.

\- Richard Clarkson?- addressed him somehow familiar-sounding voice of an older woman.

\- Yes?- he answered and looked at the woman, not knowing who is he speaking with. That was obviously obvious.

\- You are not recognizing me, are you?- that voice asked little bit offended. And the it hit him.

\- Helen?- he reacted surprised. She nodded and smiled examining his figure.

\- I haven´t seen you here for very long time.-

\- I haven´t attended the confference since the war.- he said with shock in his eyes that he met her. – Is Robert here as well?- he asked even though he wasn´t interrested in it and looked thorugh her searching for Isobel.

\- Of course.- Helen smiled waving with her hand asi t was not that important.

\- If you aplogize me, I´ll have to go.- he said still eyeing Isobel, that smiled listening to Michael, in the distance.

\- Come on. We haven´t seen each other in years. Few minutes won´t kill you.- she diagreed and touched his hand provocatelly. He gave her disapproving look raising his hands with 2 glasses little bit higher and said: - Helen, I am not alone here and I want to be with someone else in this and every other moment of this evening. It isn´t fair towards Robert, towards me.- and then without giving her any other gaze, he left. He couldn´t, however, see Isobel in the company of Michael and Margaret, which seemed not that relaxed like before.

\- Where is Isobel?- he asked quickly as soon as he reached them. Margaret answered that question.

\- I suppose that she left to sit down for a while. She looked little bit pale. She saw you. Helen as well. Was it her, or?- Richard nodded.

\- Have you told Isobel about her?- Michael asked. He nodded anew.

\- That explains everything. I told her who that woman was, when she asked me if I knew her.- added Margaret.

\- Damn.- Richard frowned and handed them the champagne glasses, not loosing precious time. He hurried to the smaller room, lounge where they had dinner, but couldn´t see her there. Worries filled up his heart. What if she understood something wrong when seeing Helen smiling at him that way. He looked around once more hastily, but without succes. He turned, determined to find her and explain her everything. He passed through the mahogany doors between those two rooms, looking to the left and right and then he noticed the glass terace. It wasn´t empty anymore. She was there. Isobel. He sighed with relief and came inside. She stood there, embracing herself, because it was much colder there than in the other 2 rooms. She glanced the streets behind the windows and was thinking about. He approached her closer. It would be senseless to loose another time. He stripped off his tail coat and placed it on her shoulders. It seemed at first, that she hadn´t noticed it at all, but then she wrapped it even closer around her. She closed her eyes. He was with her again. She knew it when scenting his cologne.

\- Isn´t this sight beautiful?- she whispered suddenly. Richard nodded, not paying attention to the view of London, but looked at her.

\- Breathtaking.- he whispered as well and placed his hands on her shoulders, moving them down her arms, eventually embracing her, positioning his palms on her hands entangled under her breasts. Feeling of warmth and peace filled her up. She relaxed, leaning on him.

\- That was her, wasn´t it?- she asked opening her eyes again. She felt a bit of jelousy, but not anger, as he expected.

\- Yes.- he admitted calmly. She felt relieved even though she wasn´t sure why did she run away.

\- I have worries and doubts.- she commented further.

\- Why?- he didn´t understand. He had explained her everything and reasurred her many times that he wasn´t feeling anything towards that damn woman anymore.

\- I am not sure, if it was right to accept their offer. To manage in year everything that normally lasts 4 or 5 years? In my age?- Richard laughed with relief.

\- And I have been thinking that you have doubts about me.- he explained her his sudden action, but than became serious again. – I am sure that it was right decision to accept and I am glad that they got such idea. You are made for helping others and you deserve praise as well as any other doctor in this building. You deserve that acknowledgement maybe, or certainly even more because the goodness is emanating from you and if you could you will sacrifice for the others. Every doctor, healer, should be like you. Willing to help the others.- he silenced for a moment hugging her even more securely and kissed the top of her head. – I have never met such person, such woman like you. Are you asking me if you can handle it? If it won´t be too much? You will manage and maybe it will be hard, but you will get over it. We will. I don´t doubt it. There´s unbelievable fire in your heart, determination and you lust for learning, knowledge inspiring the entire surrounding, inspiring me. You know so many things already and I don´t think that studying little bit more will be something unbearable. I am so proud of you, for being the woman you are and I am glad that my friends see it as well.- he kissed her once more and lowering his voice, almost whispering, continued.

\- Today when I saw you, you made me speechless. I don´t know if you realize that, but you are astonishing and beautiful woman. Not because of the dress you wear, even though it glamorizes you. You are beautiful in everything, in every situation. It´s not important whether you wear amazing gowns, whether you are dressed in nurse apron, if you smile or cry, iwhether you are furious or calm. I want you to know it. I want you to know how I see you, how I feel when you are with me. You have stolen my heart, a long time ago. Did you know that? But I am glad, because you are making me a better man. Thank to your internal beauty and because of it, I believe that you will overcome every obstacle just to be able helping more and this will allow you to do so. Me in the hospital, patients in the surgical room, other women doctors, which were encouraged by your spirit and fighting for better world.- her eyes were slowly filling with tears. She turned her head slightly, hiding it in his neck, her forehead touching his chin. Another minutes later, she turned around completely, resting on his chest. He had to smile inhaling her intoxicating fragrance. She listened to his calm heartbeat and her memory brightened up.

\- I don´t remember that night completely, - she started suddenly. – I don´t know when did you come, if yous said something or if you held me in your arms just like now, but I remember one thing very clearly. I remember the sound of your heartbeat, Richard. It beat so strongly, but calmly as well. You saved me.- she said caressing his chest and looked into his eyes. – I realized that my life isn´t over yet. I haven´t lost everything as I thought. I have you, Richard. You and George, and that´s worth to be alive. I am glad that you were here, that you didn´t leave me like the rest of the world.- she smiled but several tears escaped her eyes.

\- Richard.- she whispered touched and he dried the few tears carefully. He kissed her slowly and gently and said: - I love you Isobel.- another kiss followed.

\- I love you Richard.- she said as well and moved her hands higher so she could wrap them around his neck. They started to kiss. More lustfully, passionatelly. She slightly opened her mouth so he could explore her more. They parted only when they needed to take a breath and kissed again and again. After a long while, his hand slipped into the pocket of his tail coat and he pulled out small black box. Isobel didn´t notice anything until he released her and kneeled down. She gasped for air when he took her hand into his and opening the box ,asked:

\- Isobel, you mean the entire world for me. I love you and I wish to spend the rest of my days with you by my side. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up feeling the heartbeat of your heart, of our hearts. That´s why I want to ask you: Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?-

\- Yes!- she exclaimed abruptly. – Yes!- she repeated after the engagement ring was on her ring finger. Richard kissed her happily.

\- I wish the same, my darling man! You don´t even know how much I lust for you, for the life by your side. I love you, Richard. I do.- she was whispering wrapping her arms around his neck again.

\- I am so glad we came here. You and of us. Together.-

\- For ever after this day.- he nodded and kissed her again.

He was slowly awakening from his dreams. First sunrays passing through the curtains tickled him on nose. He wanted to scratch it and sleep little bit longer but as he moved his hand, he didn´t brush his nose as he had thought he would. Opening his eyes he smiled returning back to the beautiful reality instead and burried his face into her hair, caressing her warm and soft breast under his fingers. The intoxicating fragrance of lavender dazed his senses. Another smile escaped his lips as she cuddled to him little bit more, lusting for the heat escaping from his body. He embraced her securely kissing her bare shoulder. After so many nights they had already spent together, he stil grinned playfully when waking up and finding her in his arms. Isobel. His Isobel. His lover. His wife. His life. Remembering the last night and lovemaking after they finally arrived and booked in, made him smirk happily. His mind recalled the memories of her tender kisses that were becoming more and more possessed with passion. Tantalizing feelings of their bodies touching, her yearning looks and soft skin under his fingertips evoked another groan in him, while she stil slept peacefully. He was watching her lovingly. Her long hair covering partially her shoulders and back, tickling his chest, reminded him of the colours of early autumn when they had visited his homeland, together, for the first time ever. She was amused by Edinburgh and curious as always, wanting to explore more and more- just like the previous night, when she uncovered her nature of true scientist always lusting for new experiments. Those moans, heavy breathing and cries stil echoed in his ears. She moved a little, entangling her fingers with his. Richard´s daydreaming was interrupted and he focused on her instead. She was awakening. He knew it. He knew her.

\- Good morning, my love.- he whispered into her ear as she pulled his hand toward her face, gently kissing it.

\- Good morning, Richie.- she answered stil sleepy and smiled. Richard kissed her shoulder.

\- How are you feeling.- he asked after a while when she was fully awake and silent, which was so unlike her. Mostly in such mornings. She shrugged her shoulders.

\- Nervous.-

\- Nervous?- he wondered. – Why? The most difficult part is behind you already. This is only formality.-

\- Yes. But, not that formal as I wanted it to be.- she protested little bit frowning. He grinned again.

\- Come on. We are only having a little celebration afterwards.-

\- A little?- she repeated sarcastically. – I understand that Michael and Margaret will join us, they are living here as well as your brother and your family. But I don´t undersatnd the need to invite Mark. We visited him only 2 months ago.-

\- It was his idea to come anyway.- Richard kissed her on the neck. - He is proud of his little sister and I believe that he wants to see the cricket field again.-

\- Why would he? He lost there, you were the winners.-

\- Oh.- he smirked puckishly. – Then, it is maybe me who wants to take him there and make him remember it little bit clearlier. He seemed to forget that.- Isobel had to laugh as well.

\- Boys will be always boys.- she commented finally, becoming serious again. – How did you feel then.- they returned back to the main theme.

\- Excited.- he replied remembering the day of his graduation vividly.

\- Excited? Are you sure you listened to me? I have asked you how did you feel then, not now.- she grinned as well and turned to him kissing him softly.

\- It was exciting moment!- he disagreed. – Not that exciting like this one, of course, but exciting anyway.- he kissed her as well. – You will enjoy it, believe me. And all the people to attend this wonderful moment love you and are proud of you, so don´t worry, it will be splendid. Just like you, soon-to-be doctor Clarkson.- Isobel´s eyes filled up with sparkles of joy as this last words escaped Richard´s lips.

\- You are stunning as well, my current doctor Clarkson.- she adressed him playing with his chesthair again. – My strenght.- she whispered kissing the part of his chest where his heart beat the strongest. Richard beamed carresing her back. – My inspiration.- he kissed her hungryly. And they made love again. All the worries from upcoming moments were forgotten.

THE END

 _Thanks one more time...the last part is happenning in Edinburgh as it is the day of Isobel´s graduation. They are already married and enjoying the life...I am sorry for not describing all that happened after the proposal, but everybody of us has good phantasie to imagine it...let´s say that there was no need of two rooms anymore... I hope you enjoyed it as well as me. Please, let me know what you think about it, if having time..._


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